Revelations
by ottgeekgirl
Summary: This story is set a few months after the end of SW KOTOR. If you haven't played this game, you may not get the story. Enjoy!
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything except Carian and the original story expressed here.  This is based a few months after Malak's defeat and the end of KotOR.  

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Carian tossed her lightsaber in one corner of her quarters and peeled off her robes and threw them in the opposite corner of the room.  She sighed and wondered if the guilt, irrational though it was, would ever go away.  Jedi meditations weren't helping and apparently training exercises weren't helping at all.  She smiled and ran a restless hand through her short brown hair, thinking of Jolee in the training room, "Go find another way to ease your conscience Carian; these old bones can't take the kind of punishment you're looking to dish out."

Unfortunately for Jolee, Carian and anyone else who cared to listen, the real source of her frustration was nowhere to be found, he often disappeared for quick trips to Telos to see Dustil and apparently help in the rebuilding of a planet and a relationship.

"Oh why can't he just yell at me or be angry with me about Telos and all the rest of it?  Why does he have to be so damned understanding?  Why does he have to be so…so…Carth?!?!"

"Talking to yourself? They say it's a sign.  I don't know what it's a sign of but I'm sure it's a sign.  You probably don't want your Jedi buddies to know you talk to yourself…things might happen," Canderous commented ominously from her open door behind her.

"Canderous, don't you knock?"  She glanced down at herself remembering the tossed robes and they flew to her hand with a quick flick of her hand.

"Or do you just always walk in anywhere you please?" she glared turning towards him fastening the simple garments and gesturing for him to enter and shut the door.

Canderous eased the door shut and immediately claimed the only chair in the room for himself and glanced around in disdain.

"Quarters?  You sure they don't have you in a cell?  And I did knock, you were just so busy ranting on about Flyboy that you didn't hear me.  Do you really want to talk about the times I've walked in on you unawares or are you going to tell me why you don't have time for your friends anymore?"

Carian flushed remembering all too well a time on the Ebon Hawk when Canderous had walked in on her and Carth; Mandalorians and discretion were not words you normally grouped together and sure enough she and Carth had been the subject of merciless teasing.

"What are you talking about not having time for my friends?  I just spent the last two months as part of the Republic's current band of hero's tour and I seem to recall seeing everybody there." What a notion.  Heroes, them.  She had wondered during the endless waving and pointless important dinners how many people knew they were admiring a former Dark Lord of the Sith, one who had been responsible for countless lives lost, worlds destroyed.

"—meditations or busy training.  Anyone who isn't part of the Jedi in crowd hasn't seen you in weeks."  Canderous was saying.

"What?  Oh sorry Canderous.  I was just thinking, and…" Carian started to reply.

"Thinking is part of your problem I bet.  You let your mind fill with imagined horrors and tell yourself how Revan was truly a terrible person and somehow, you, Carian, should be responsible for her actions."

"Canderous I don't want to discuss this with you. Leave it alone," Carian glared at the large Mandalorian.

Unperturbed Canderous continued "Well I hear there's a hut in the Shadowlands on Kashyyyk that is probably still vacant if you're looking to take up the hermit lifestyle." he was smiling at her but there was an intensity in his voice that told her Canderous was getting frustrated.  And knowing Canderous, she'd end up in the cargo hold of some ship and dropped off on Kashyyyk to stay in Jolee's old hut if she didn't at least hear him out.

"Right now the hut is sounding appealing compared to present company," she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Don't tempt me.  Now listen, you try listening to a Twi'lek and a Wookie complain for two weeks straight. "Canderous was trying not to grin in spite of his irritation.  Damn her but she always knew what to say to lighten a mood, to make you laugh.  If Onasi wasn't careful, he'd make his own move, not that he'd stand a chance with Carian, she was as lovesick for the pilot as he was for her.  Sigh.  Damn the woman.

Carian lowered herself gracefully on to the bed in her small room and tucked her legs under her to try to get comfortable and ignored Canderous' raised eyebrow.  The damn man, he takes the only chair and then wants to comment because she doesn't want to sit on the floor.  He knew better than to think there was an invitation forthcoming to join her on the bed, at least she hoped he knew better.  As much as she liked to think she knew Canderous, sometimes he succeeded in catching her off balance.

"I suppose its true," Carian began, thinking of the past few weeks since they'd been told the public affairs were finally over.  "I haven't been around much, although I have been in meditations and training much of the time.  I need to sort things out Canderous.  I'll have a thought about my "past" and I realize it's all a joke; it's not true at all.  I'm not only dealing with being a former dark lord," she lowered her voice mock menacingly at the last two words and the corner of Canderous' mouth twitched, in amusement or irritation, she didn't know. "I have to process losing all my past too. All my friends, the family, and the kids I went to school with and got in trouble with."

"I don't suppose it's occurred to you that the people who call themselves your friends _now_ might like to try to help you out _now_ when you need a shoulder or two or seventeen." Canderous commented gruffly.

"It just seemed so stupid, I don't know why I told you except I didn't want to find myself in Jolee's hut on Kashyyyk.  I knew I couldn't tell Carth, not after taking his family.  I can't whine to him over an imaginary one," she shook her head.  It wasn't just Carth, it was all of them.  But somehow, it didn't feel so wrong telling Canderous about this.  Perhaps because the proud warrior had never asked for her help or support when dealing with his own issues aboard the Ebon Hawk.  He had merely fought alongside her, told her tales of his own war-like past and offered to stand by her, no matter what path she chose.  His unconditional support had lifted an enormous weight off her shoulders when she had learned the truth of her past, when she had found out that she was not Carian, soldier in the Republic fleet but Revan, former Dark Lord of the Sith. 

Canderous scowled at her "Stupid is what I'd call how you're reacting to it?  The Jedi High Council programmed new memories and a new identity for you and it worked well enough until you were really following your own old footsteps.  You think it's unnatural to feel some pain for loss? Stupid to miss people you thought were real and meant something to you?  I think the Jedi did a formidable job.  You just have to decide which identity you can make peace with."

"What if I can't make peace Canderous?  What if I can't forgive Revan for what she's done?  What if I can't forgive myself?" Carian asked him getting up and starting to pace the room.

Canderous rose himself, if she started circling him, he was going to get dizzy, and this couldn't be heading in a good direction now.  Oh what had he hoped to accomplish coming here anyways?  Well at least he'd gotten a good look before she pulled on those damn robes of hers.  What a woman! And what a fool Onasi was for leaving her alone when she clearly needed him.

"I can't answer that Carian.  I'm not a Jedi and I don't have the answers that I think you're looking for.  Although I thought they were in your code that you recite day in and day out."  He headed for the door; "I would think that if Flyboy and the Jedi could forgive you, you could think about forgiving yourself." was his parting comment over his shoulder as he left.

She glared at the door.  Damn men.  He was right.  She knew it too but knowing it and doing it were two different things.

It was early in the evening yet so she went to find Mission who stubbornly stayed on the Hawk.  She had no idea what ship Carth used when he went to see Dustil on Telos but he liked to leave the Hawk there for them.  Just in case, he said.

"Hey Mission, you up for a game of Pazzak?" Carian asked. 

Mission's jaw dropped open in surprise.  "Carian!!!" she squealed and launched herself into the older woman's arms and hugged her.

Mission let go and beamed at her, "Forget Pazzak!  Let's get out of here now that Canderous finally broke you out of that place." Mission jumped up to tell Zaalbar to get out of Coruscant.

Carian reached out and snagged Mission, "Hey not so fast, kid."  Her eyes danced in amusement, she loved riding Mission about her age.

"I'm not a k-! What do you mean Canderous didn't break you out of there?  We figured you must be held against your will or something.  You haven't come out to see us once since the Grand Tour ended. Not once! Don't tell me you were there because you wanted to be and you didn't have time for us."

Mission's voice was rising and speeding up with each word she spoke.  Her head tails were almost quivering with indignation.

"Mission I'm sorry.  I really am.  I've just been having a really hard time in there.  Jolee must have told you something or Juhani.  It's not like my feelings aren't well hidden from anyone Force Sensitive." Carian spoke in a rush hoping to appease Mission before she gathered up enough momentum to get going.

"All anyone would tell us non Force-Sensitive types is that you were in meditation or in training exercises.  Well how were we supposed to know they weren't doing some memory wipe or something or keeping you there against your will?" Mission glared at her. "Why didn't you come to us? If things were so bad, maybe we could have helped. Didn't you think we'd worry?" Mission's head tails were starting to relax, a sign that Carian could probably relax as well. But you never knew with Mission.

Carian sighed; she had a feeling she was going to do a lot of apologizing before this night was over.

"Where's Zaalbar?  I may as well explain more with everyone here." Carian asked the Twi'lek.

"Oh Big Z went to get some more food.  What we had in the cargo hold is long gone and the cantina…well…Big Z manages to get the food cheap and a decent supply of it too.  I prefer to eat on the Hawk anyway." Mission's blue skin darkened a bit and she smiled wryly at Carian.  Carian could just guess the reason the young Twi'lek preferred the solace of the ship to a seedy dive where a bunch of bawdy patrons would assume that another young Twi'lek girl was there to entertain them.  Mission usually had their credits and was long gone by the time they realized she was not there to entertain.

Carian drifted towards the centre of the Ebon Hawk with Mission trailing along behind her.  She heard T3 beep in greeting and she smiled and greeted the droid absently.  HK-47 offered to destroy any organic meatbags who might have been keeping her away from her personal assassination droid.  Carian politely declined the offer and ordered HK-47 to not kill any organic meatbags in the enclave and just stay on the ship and listen to the crew.  HK looked as though he would complain but subsided into silence once more.

"Well look who decided to grace us with her presence after all," Canderous said from the swoop workshop.  She ran an absent hand over the bike and looked up at the imposing Mandalorian.

"Well your plan worked.  I'm on the Hawk and talking to you spacers.  What next?  Fighting off Sith fighters just for old time's sakes?" Carian inquired leaning against the workbench watching the Mandalorian.

"Carian!! We were just worried about you!" Mission declared hotly.

"Oh Mission I know. I'm sorry. I didn't even realize how long I'd neglected you guys until Canderous told me tonight.  I'm sorry.  How many languages do you want me to say it in?" Carian asked tiredly, leaning her head back against the bulkhead by the workbench and closing her eyes.  Not looking at any of them.  Not seeing the disappointment and hurt in their eyes.  In Mission's eyes.  _'Oh Mission I'm sorry I don't mean to hurt you.  I'm just a coward and too afraid to face a past that you and everyone else has apparently forgiven me for,'_ Carian kept those thoughts to herself.

"How am I supposed to honour a lifedebt if you are not here?" she heard Big Z ask her in his strange Wookie language that so few understood.

"I'm sorry Zaalbar, I was just explaining to Mission and Canderous that I've been having a hard time of it.  No one has been keeping me prisoner or anything.  The Jedi are not the Sith and I could leave anytime I wanted to, I just was a little too…" '_wrapped up in self-pity'_, finished Carian mentally.

They were all staring at her as though she had spoken the last few words aloud.  "I'm sorry.  Ok, I really am. Maybe I just miss Carth or something.  This trip seems to be lasting longer than usual." she finished lamely.

"So go see him, I saw him but he didn't see me.  I think he was looking for someone else," rumbled Zaalbar.  Carian could have sworn he was laughing but it was hard to tell with Zaalbar sometimes.

She was out of the Ebon Hawk and tearing towards her quarters before another word could be said, but she did hear resounding laughter from the Hawk as she departed at a dead run.

'This really isn't behaviour befitting a Jedi,' Carian thought.  She ran faster.  

She burst into her quarters and found him waiting for her.  He smiled at her, that wonderful perfect smile that just made it all worthwhile.  She stood against the locked door, 'No guest appearances by anyone tonight Canderous, Mission or anyone else looking to ruin this moment,' she thought happily.

Carth crossed the room in two steps and scooped her up in his arms and deposited her on the bed.

For the second time that night, her Jedi robes got tossed to a corner of the room and she found out just how much Carth Onasi had missed her and she showed him how much she had missed him.  They were willing to concede the contest to a draw.

They talked drowsily later, exchanging news.

"I heard on my way in here that you've been quiet the past while, anything you want to talk about?" he asked her.

She reached over and brushed those loose strands of hair from his forehead, no matter what he did, they always seemed to come back, just to torment her she suspected.

"No, I think I'm all talked out on that subject and if I have to apologise once more I'll eat my robes or something equally terrible," she groaned.

"That bad is it?" Carth chuckled, grinning wickedly down at her, looking for all the world like he'd love to see her eat her robes.

"Hmph! Yes it is. How's Dustil?" Carian asked him, hoping the change of topic to his son would take the pressure off her.

She was rewarded when she saw the look of fatherly pride flash across his face, "Dustil's great. He's helping out on Telos and we're getting closer and-and…" he was stammering, at a loss for words.

"And what? You're moving to Telos permanently to be close to Dustil and this was good bye?" Carian asked, half wondering if it was true.  Carth adored his son and she hoped that one day his son would accept her, would know about her.  They'd decided that telling Dustil too much too soon would only make things worse.  They would tell him, once Carth had time to establish his relationship on more solid ground.

"Dustil wants to meet you. He wants to know what you're like," Carth remarked.

"What?!?" this was completely unexpected. Carian hadn't been expecting to meet Dustil until she'd gotten over feeling responsible for the murder of his mother.

She gathered the sheet back around her and Carth looked mournfully at what the sheet now covered but said nothing.

"How did this happen Carth?  What have you been telling him?  I thought we agreed not until much later.  You're not the only one who needs time you know.  He's probably going to hate me and you and you'll be right back where you started.  Hopefully you won't have to find him in some Sith academy again."  Carian's questions and concerns tumbled out before Carth had a chance to answer them.

"No, of course not! He'd never join the Sith now, not after what we showed him on Korriban!" Carth protested angrily.

"You're right, you're right of course. I'm just thrown that you would tell him so soon Carth, and after we decided not say anything until your relationship was more solid.  I'm just worried," Carian appeased him.

"Well for the record, I didn't say anything to Dustil, he found out on his own about you.  There's been enough coverage about all of us and I guess some rumours reached him, even on Telos, about our possible romantic connection," Carth explained "and he asked me about it and I can't lie to my son, not after everything we've been through." Carian nodded, she understood and respected that. "He does remember meeting you briefly at the Academy on Korriban but that barely had time to give him a real impression, especially since no one was really showing their Pazzak hand there. He knows about your past and I won't deny he was outraged at first.  I felt like I was looking at myself when I first found out.  But he's an Onasi through and through and he'll come around soon enough.  He just needs some time to…"he trailed off.

"Wrap his head around it, Carian finished for him, smiling.

"Yeah, something like that," Carth smiled and pulled her into his arms, kissing her. "So, what do you say beautiful?" Carth asked her between kisses.  "Can I take you to Telos to meet my son; to really get to know him?"

"What was the question again?" Carian asked, mischief dancing in her green eyes.  "Oh right, Telos, some Onasi kid.  Oh all right, I'll come with you.  I know Bastila had me scheduled for some meditation that week but your son is much more important," Carian answered giggling, kissing him back.

"I haven't even said when we leave yet, how can you have a conflict with Bastila?" Carth asked puzzled.

"I always have a conflict with Bastila these days, but I'm just happy she's here with us and not…not…"Carian trailed off, unable to continue that line of thought.

"I know. I'm glad she's here too.  I'm so glad she's here with us," Carth replied pulling their covers more tightly around them.  Despite the Order's rules, he was staying with her that night and she knew that no one would truly give her a hard time, besides the door was locked.  Who would know?

Carian nestled against him and murmured sleepily, "It's so good to have you here, even if you end up stealing the covers and I freeze during the night."

Carth pulled her closer and tried to tuck the blankets around her more securely, "I never steal your blankets, your heart absolutely, but not your blankets," his breath was warm against her neck as she fell asleep secure in his arms.  Carian dreamed, and remembered.

(Flashback)

Lord Revan turned and gazed at the stars before her then glanced disdainfully at her apprentice Malak.

"This is some fool recently come from the Republic?" she sneered.

"Saul Karath. The Republic considers him a hero." Malak stated derisively. "He swears his loyalty to you and the Sith, Master," Malak declared calmly.

"Of course he does, they all do. They're snivelling bantha all of them.  Test his loyalty as you will Malak, just ensure he is loyal to me and the Sith."

"As you desire Master," Malak said bowing and left in a flourish of black robes.

'Snivelling bantha meatbag,' Lord Revan thought humourlessly to herself.  'If that damned droid doesn't return from his mission soon, I'll have to construct another one.  I think I should put more safeguards, one can never be too careful after all,' Lord Revan observed. 

Some time later, Malak returned and informed her Telos had been destroyed, at Karath's command.  "Karath didn't hesitate for a moment Lord Revan; he will make a fine Sith and a fine commander for your forces."

"What is the significance of Telos to Karath?  You know that it was important to the fool?" Lord Revan inquired coldly.

"Telos is where he spent much of his adult life and where he was stationed prior to accepting his Republic mission.  If he has friends, or even family, they will be on Telos," Malak informed her.

"Ah. Excellent test Malak.  You have done well.  If my droid ever returns to me perhaps I shall program it to stop calling you a meatbag, would you like that?" Lord Revan asked with a smirk.

"I certainly would Master, probably as much as you enjoy hearing that droid refer to me as a meatbag," Malak replied dryly.

Lord Revan smiled a genuine smile.  "Well it all depends on the droid then.  We'll see if HK-47 makes it back or if I have to build another one."

Lord Revan turned away and gazed back out to the starfield before her, ignoring her apprentice.

end flashback

Carian shot up from her drenched pillow with a strangled gasp.  Her hands shot to her head, trying to block out the images she was seeing there, the memories she was experiencing, she moaned "No, no, no no no no….get out! Get out! Get out!!!!  GET OUT!!!!!" She was screaming.  She leapt from the bed and curled up on the floor holding her head.

She felt Carth's arms come around her and try to soothe her. 

"It's all right.  It's all right.  Shh, it's ok beautiful, you're safe.  It's all right."

She shook her head in desperate denial. "No, it's not; it's never going to be all right again."

"What do you mean?  What nightmare or vision could frighten you so badly?"

Carian just shook her head mutely.  

"They weren't nightmares or visions were they Carian?" said a voice from the doorway.

Bastila stood there, her gaze impassive, holding the pass card that granted her access to Carina's quarters and smiling wryly.  "If you're going to lock the door, do make sure you get these back from the people you gave them out to in the first place," Bastila said sweetly.

_'It appears our bond is back along with some other things, Carian,'_ came Bastila's voice in her mind.

_'No, go away Bastila; don't you know how terrible it is in here now?  You have to get out, please. Please.'_ she implored the other Jedi silently.

Carth was looking intently at the two women, aware that there was some silent communication going on between them.

"Is someone going to tell me what's going on?  You know I hate being left out of the loop and I think there's a big loop I'm being left out here," Carth asked, watching Carian for a slight smile, a grin, a flicker, anything that indicated she could reach for that slim moment and laugh at him.  Nothing.  This was worse than he'd imagined.

Carian looked to Bastila for support or help or comfort.  She didn't know.  Whatever she was looking for, it wasn't there.  She hauled herself to her feet and took the only chair in the room, she wanted that isolation right now, and she had never felt more alone than at this moment.  She faced Carth, the man she loved and Bastila, a woman with whom she'd shared a very intimate bond that had suddenly reappeared.  No, that bond reappearing was no coincidence. She knew why.

_'Do you know why the bond is back Bas?  Do you?'_ she 'asked' Bastila, probing the woman's gaze with her own.

_'Yes, I do.  I just want to know that you can admit this to yourself,'_ she heard Bastila's soft voice in her mind, gently reproachful.

Carth was still watching her expectantly, concern creasing his brow and darkening his eyes.

"I remembered the circumstances of the attack on Telos.  I-ah-Revan ordered Malak to test the new commander who was just from the Republic any way he desired.  Malak chose Telos as he knew that Telos would be difficult for Karath.  According to a report I received from Malak after, Karath didn't hesitate in issuing the order to fire.  I was so pleased with Malak that I was considering rewarding him for this creative bit of loyalty testing," Carian spoke quietly but determinedly, knowing if she stopped she'd lose her nerve.

Bastila was watching her closely and Carth's expression had grown pained at the mention of Telos.  She longed to reach out and take him in her arms and take comfort from him and give him her comfort.  She couldn't, not now.  Carth opened his mouth to say something and she held her hand up to silence him; she had to finish this if it killed her.  If they killed her.

"I remember being Revan, not just the attack on Telos, but what came before and after, and the fall from the light to darkness and the fall from darkness to oblivion."

Tears were shimmering in Bastila's eyes and Carth was staring at her with a shocked expression.  She continued before they could speak.

"I remember everything, everything," she said.


	2. Taking Flight

Chapter 2: Taking Flight

"But that's impossible!" Bastila exclaimed. "You can't remember everything.  The damage was too severe.  The Jedi council said you would never remember.  They didn't even think you would remember the Star Maps.  You almost weren't kept alive because they were convinced there was nothing left."

"Well the council can be wrong sometimes Bastila," Carian stated simply.  "I remember the first day I saw you in Taris.  I remember what you said to Brejik, "Never underestimate the power of a Jedi mind.  Well it appears the council, you, even I have done that." Carian continued.  "Look at Revan's mind, after all that has been done.  The memories are intact, they are still present.  I think even some of her old powers are coming back.  It's so strange.  I know how easy it would be to choke you with but a thought, but I think it would cost me so much of the Force to do so having followed the light for so long."

Carth was still staring at her in disbelief.  "Did I hear you right?  You remember being the Dark Lord?  Being on the Star Forge?" he was shaking his head and coming towards her.  Carian instinctively backed up until her back was against the wall.  She glanced down and saw her fallen robes and pulled them on.  "Are you sure you remember everything?  You're not just having an intense flash or something?"

Carian glared at Carth, "No, I'm not having an intense flashback.  It's not a nightmare; I don't need to be tucked in.  I am remembering these things and don't patronize me again."

Bastila tried to be helpful, "Carth didn't mean anything by it Carian. He just hasn't seen what we've seen or felt what we've felt.  You have to be prepared for some detractors, especially among the High Council.  They dislike being wrong and when you see them in the morning and tell them the events of tonight, they will challenge it.  They have always maintained that there was no way that Revan's memories would ever re-emerge or that Carian would regain any of Revan's powers.  They will resent you showing them their error on both parts," Bastila informed her.

"Then I won't inform them tomorrow morning Bastila," Carian declared with a finality that was making Bastila nervous.

"Well, you certainly can't disturb a master at rest now, you can't intend that!" Bastila half-shrieked, horrified at the thought of disturbing a member of the Jedi High Council as they slept.

Carian moved purposefully about the room, gathering her lightsaber and grabbing the small bag that held her few things.  She reflected to herself that living out of a carrier had its advantages.  "I have no intention of waking any member of the Jedi High Council or anyone else just now, Bastila.  I'm leaving.  I need some time to sort out my emotions and I'm not going to get that done overnight," Carian explained calmly.

"But…but, you need proper guidance and, and training to master your emotions and while I may not be…" Bastila began.

"Bastila just stop.  Stop.  I know you mean well and I imagine you're worried about me and worried about yourself considering that our bond has come back just when we thought we were free of it.  I intend to spend some time getting the proper guidance and I will submit myself to the will of the Jedi Council after I return," Carian stated flatly.

"Return? You're going to run off?  Just like she did?" Bastila flashed at her, crossing the room to catch her arm.  "Oh how fascinating.  Revan's memories return and the first thing you do is get as far away from the Jedi Council as quickly as you can.  It does look rather suspect, Carian.  Or should I call you Revan now?" Bastila's gaze held hers for a long moment, looking searchingly at the woman who was in so many ways a mystery to Bastila, even with a bond linking their minds.

Carian returned the look calmly, her eyes never leaving Bastila's she reached down and removed Bastila's hand from her arm and turned to look at Carth who had been silent during this heated exchange.  He was watching the two Jedi intently, as though wondering if battle were about to break out and if he should take sides or look for cover.

"Carth, is your ship still available?  Can we leave immediately?" Carian asked him.

"Are you sure you want to leave now?  What about the others?  Don't you want to say anything to them?" Carth asked her, looking troubled.

"Carth if I go the Hawk to talk to them, it will be as bad as going to the Council, well almost as bad.  You wanted me to leave anyway for a little while so now is the perfect time.  Please Carth, get me out of here, I just need to process this for a little while," Carian pleaded.  She couldn't go and face everyone on the Ebon Hawk right now.  She was surprised that Jolee and Juhani weren't breaking down her door though, likely they had become accustomed to the waves of misery emanating from her through the Force that they were dismissing this a particularly bad night and assumed that it was being dealt with.  Which was fine, it was being dealt with.  The last thing she needed were more Jedi telling her to speak to the Council.  She'd speak to the Council soon enough.  A wait of a few days or a week wouldn't do any harm.

Carth nodded and pulled her away from Bastila and into his arms.  She laid her cheek against his strong chest and fought the urge to break down in his arms.  There would be time for that later.  Carian felt Carth stroking her hair and murmuring to her.

"Listen beautiful, I'm going to contact Dustil and just let him know we're on our way.  That will give you a few minutes more alone with Bastila, try and get her to understand.  I think she thinks you and I are just going off on some romantic trip, maybe she'll ease up if she knows how much you're hurting," Carth whispered softly in her ear.

"I'll be back and then we'll go.  No matter what she says," Carth murmured to her.

He gave her one last reassuring squeeze and kissed the top of her head and left the small room. He heard the women's voices rise once more as the door closed behind him.  Carth shook his head and laughed softly to himself as he hurried to the Hutt's Hovel to announce their impending departure.

"Bastila just tell me one thing, even without our link you can tell what side of the Force I'm serving.  You can tell what side of the Force any Jedi is serving correct?" Carian asked her friend as she went to make the bed and tidy up the quarters a little bit.

Bastila watched her, not sure where Carian was going with this question.  Revan's memories might have returned and Carian might be acting irrationally but Carian had never stopped appearing as anything other than a devoted servant of the Light Side of the Force.  Bastila wished she could achieve that level of devotion sometime but realized that jealousy would accomplish little except begin to lead her back down towards the Dark Side, a place she had visited once and had no wish to return to.

"Well of course you're a servant of the Light Carian, that hasn't changed.  Anyone Force Sensitive who comes within a parsec of you is going to feel the emotions surging away within you but you are most assuredly still a servant of the Light," Bastila stated matter-of-factly.  She was stunned at the look of relief that crossed Carian's face.

"I-I just don't want to become her.  I might remember being her now.  I didn't before and I don't know how I can now but now I understand her and I understand how she fell and I can even feel some sympathy for that but the price of the Darkness is too high Bastila.  Every time I remember something of Revan's as she was the Dark Lord, there always seems to be this emptiness within her.  I don't think she was happy or at peace.  It seems like it was a constant drive for power and avoiding betrayal.  It just looks so empty and pointless," Carian was moving about the small quarters as she spoke.  She avoided looking at Bastila, both women knowing that Bastila's own return from the Dark Side was just so recent and this was just such a delicate subject.  "Bastila, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about this with you right now.  I'm going to leave soon and I'll come back and speak to the Council and Jolee and Juhani and everyone on the Ebon Hawk and do whatever the Council feels needs to be done.  Please just give me this time Bastila, please," she beseeched Bastila.

Bastila sighed, "Oh very well, go do whatever it is you're going to do with Carth."  Carian opened her mouth to speak.  "No, I really do not wish to know and don't tell me, I have no need to know how you're going to find your peace.  Just keep me out of it and I do expect to see you back here.  Oh, I don't relish telling Zaalbar and Mission that you've left," the young Jedi sighed resignedly.

"So tell them you couldn't stop me," Carian said.  "It's the truth.  I know they're all going to complain but I need this.  I really do.  Thank you for understanding Bastila."  The two women hugged and she heard Bastila's voice in her mind.

_'The bed is rather small.  I can certainly see why you'd want to …'_

_'Bastila!! I thought you were above such base thoughts.  Honestly!'_

"Goodbye Carian.  Safe travels and May the Force be with you," Bastila grinned mischievously at her as she left.

"Ready to go beautiful?" Carth's voice came from the doorway.  "You and Bastila didn't kill each other I see and she even wished you well.  I don't know what you said and I don't care. Let's go before she changes her mind and wakes up the Council."  Carth grabbed her carrier from its spot by the door and slipped an arm around her waist and he led her to his ship.

"Are you sure I shouldn't say something to the gang on the Hawk?  I barely got them to let me off there after abandoning them for weeks," Carian worried aloud as they made their way from the enclave.

"Well its up to you, but I think its going to raise a lot of questions right now and maybe you should just take the time like you told Bastila and then explain it all to everyone when you get back.  Bastila can tell them where you've gone in the morning.  I'm sure she will.  Don't worry, its going to be fine," Carth smiled down at her reassuringly and squeezed her tightly against him for a moment.  They stopped, and he took her into his arms and kissed her, holding her close.

Carian wondered sometimes if Carth wasn't just a little Force-Sensitive.  It was amazing how he always seemed to know exactly when she needed his touch the most.

"You're right, there will be a lot of questions and I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with that right now.  I'm surprised you don't have more questions actually, Carth," Carian said, eyeing him speculatively.

Carth flushed and replied "Well I do have questions naturally, but I'm sure you'll tell me what you can when you're ready to talk about it.  You were pretty upset back there in your quarters, I didn't want to pressure you or upset you."

"Thank you.  I will talk to you about all of this.  I'm just not sure what to say, or even where to begin. It's not like this is my favourite subject after all," Carian halted mid-step.  "Is this your ship?  Its not very big and it doesn't look like a Republic ship."

The Hutt's Hovel appeared to be a smaller, cheaper version of the Ebon Hawk.  It looked like a ship made for smuggling.  At a rough estimate, Carian guessed that the ship would sleep four when crowded.  Hutt's Hovel seemed designed to slip past sensor nets and outrun bigger, slower ships that would try to take its unauthorized cargo. 

"Ah well, she's not a Republic ship.  She's mine.  Don't knock her, I put out a lot of credits for this baby," Carth explained defensively.  "The Republic needs all their ships in their continued efforts against the Sith and don't want me taking one of their ships to Telos just to see Dustil.  Besides, she flies and she gets me to Telos and back to you and that's all that matters to me," Carth explained leading Carian up the boarding ramp.

Carian burst out laughing when she saw the nameplate mounted just inside in the main hold of the ship.  "Hutt's Hovel?!?" she asked between snickers.  "Was that your idea or have you not changed her name yet?" Carian asked giggling.

Carth turned a frosty glare her way, making her dissolve into full scale giggles.  "You don't like my ship you can catch a transport to Telos, lady," he griped at her half-serious.

Snickering, Carian followed him to the cockpit and admired the compact and efficient use of space.  She was glad there was a co-pilot's seat or she would feel like she was crowding Carth if she joined him up her for the journey to Telos.  

"All right, all right, I'll behave Republic.  Just get us out of here before I change my mind and steal the Ebon Hawk with our friends in it and get us to Telos that way, with a few unscheduled stops on the way of course," she grinned impishly at him.

Carth winced at her use of Canderous' name for him and nodded as he set about preparing to get the ship in the air.  "Hey gorgeous, you can stash your stuff in one of the quarters if you like and there's some herbal drinks in the mess if you want something to calm your nerves."

Seeing that Carth would be preoccupied until the Hovel was in hyperspace, Carian wandered the ship for a little while.  There was precious little to explore and by the time she had returned from examining the quarters and freshening up, the ship had made the jump into hyperspace.

Carian dropped into the co-pilot's seat and gazed around the small cockpit.  It was cramped and she was glad she didn't have to fly this ship as often as Carth did.  She wondered how he could stand being in this confined area for so long time and time again.

She turned to look at him, and found Carth gazing at her with a thoughtful frown.

Carian squirmed uncomfortably and gazed unseeingly at the stars racing by, "Ah, Carth, about what I said in the enclave, about remembering Telos, I, ah, I didn't want to bring up more painful memories for you but I felt I needed to say…" she trailed off.  Carth wasn't looking at her but staring at the controls and his lips had thinned into a tight line.

"Stop.  Just stop.  I don't want to talk about that with you.  You've said enough.  You've said quite enough, just don't" Carth spoke softly, barely disguising his fury.  "You don't know what its cost me, what it's still costing me, just …damn you."  Carth stormed out of the cockpit leaving a bewildered Carian gazing after him.  

"Well I wanted him to yell at me, I just didn't know it would hurt me so much," Carian whispered to the empty room.  "I wonder if he's done or if he has more on his mind.  He may as well get all the yelling done before we get to Telos because I don't think I can handle two angry Onasi men.   I need someone on my side, even if I don't deserve it," she commented dryly.  Carian didn't move though, she curled up in the uncomfortable chair, bringing her knees up to her chin and rested her cheek on her knees and reflected that this cockpit was not made for a woman of any species with all the angles and flat surfaces and no curves anywhere.  "Carth I'm sorry.  I wish more than you know that I was never Revan.  I wish I was just Carian and that our lives were simple," she murmured into the semi-darkness. 

She sat staring into the darkness for what seemed like an eternity.  She jumped, startled, when she heard movement behind her.  Carth froze, holding two steaming cups in his hands.  "Careful, you'll make me drop this and we'll get burned," he warned softly.

Carth handed her one of the steaming brews.  It was one of the herbal brews he had mentioned earlier, something meant to soothe and calm.  The fragrant steam wafted to her face and she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes.  When Carian opened them again, Carth was sitting on the arm of the chair she occupied.  "I didn't mean to react like that.  I thought I had put it behind me, Telos, that is, and having you bring it up again tonight, it just opened up all the old wounds.  I hope you understand."  Carth smiled sheepishly down at her and set his cup down out of reach so that he could lean in and kiss the top of her head.

Carian smiled up at him, relieved to have him break the tension.  She had been dreading going to find him for she hadn't known what to say.  She took a sip of her brew and was certain that the strain of the day was already easing away as she began to relax.  She took a few more sips and couldn't help but ask "Are you sure that you don't have more to say to me?  I'd hate to be caught by surprise, especially around Dustil." 

Carth shook his head and returned to the pilot's seat, checking the instruments to ensure that they were still on course and on time.  They sat in awkward silence for a while drinking the herbal infusions.  Carth seemed to have nothing further to say and Carian was reluctant to say anything that would create worse strain between them.  Carian finally settled on the time-honoured question of all travellers, "How much longer until we get there?"

Carth checked his instruments and said quietly, "About one hour, just relax, it won't be long now."  He shook his head and gazed at her sadly for a moment before returning his stare to the instrument panel before him.  Carian eyed him uncertainly him for a moment, then decided that he must still be upset about Telos and the events of the night. Carian took Carth's advice and closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the uncomfortable seat back, trying to chase away memories of being Revan, Dark Lord of the Sith with her more recent memories of being Carian, Jedi Guardian of the Order.  

She must have dozed for a while for suddenly she felt the familiar jolt of a ship coming out of hyperspace.  Blearily she opened her eyes, expecting to see a planet looming in view before her.  Instead she saw only empty space and heard Carth speaking into the comm. system but couldn't hear the other side of the conversation.

"Yes sir, we've just dropped from hyperspace now.  No, I think she's pretty out of it.  Understood.  I expect to rendezvous with your ships in moments.  No, I don't anticipate any problems from her.  Understood.  Hutt's Hovel out."

Carian dropped her gaze to the readouts in front of her, certain that it would indicate Telos somewhere nearby.  It didn't.  She was in a sector of space that had been under Sith control for sometime.  Surely Carth had made a mistake; they had to get out of here.  She started to move to make the adjustments to the navigation system but she felt so heavy, so wrong, she couldn't even lift her hand to the controls to punch in the correct coordinates. She couldn't even call on her Force Cure power, she felt so weak and tired.  Something was very wrong.  She felt her chair being turned around away from the controls and she was looking at Carth.  He knew she was awake then.  Why didn't he get them out of here?  What was going on?  "Carth…what…" she trailed off, her throat felt raw and her voice was little more than a whisper.    Surely Carth would explain this madness.

Carth crouched down so that his face was level with hers.  "You really should rest more you know.  You can't even call on the Force, you're so tired."  He reached out and caressed her cheek with one hand.  He looked at her sadly for a long moment.  "You don't know, even now, what's going on do you?  Ah, Carian, or should I say Revan?  It amazes me how slow you can be."

Carian watched him, horror dawning on her like ice moving through her veins.  "Carth, please, what's going on?" she rasped, struggling to get to her feet.  He chuckled at her efforts and lightly pushed her back into the chair.  "Where's Telos?  Why aren't we near Telos?  What happened?  Why am I so weak?" the questions came out of her in a grating whisper.

"Telos, yes, it somehow always comes back to Telos between us doesn't it?" Carth answered her standing up, leaning back against the bulkhead in the cockpit.  "I thought I lost everything in Telos, my wife was dead, and my son was gone.  It was all over.  I wanted to die myself."  His gaze turned inwards, remembering.  "I told you that Saul Karath asked me to join the Sith and that we argued and I didn't see him again.  What I left out was that after the attack on Telos, I went to find him.  I had ways of tracking him down.  I very nearly killed him then but something he said to me made me think."

Carian was staring at Carth in horror, "No, Carth, no, please tell me you didn't." she whispered, but he didn't hear her.

"Saul told me that the Republic had cost me everything.  My wife.  My son.  How much more did I have to give to a cause that was doomed to fail? To a cause that was destroying my life?  Did I have to give the Republic my heart and soul too?  Not that there was anything left of it.  My heart died on Telos with my wife and my soul, well, I didn't know if I had a soul anymore.  So, I accepted Saul Karath's offer and joined the Sith, to work undercover for them as the loyal, tragic, Republic pilot."  Carth's detached, unfamiliar gaze met hers and he laughed then, a laugh she didn't know.  It was cold, without humour, and a part of her realized Revan would have liked this Carth, but Carian's heart was shattering with each word he spoke.

"It turned out they needed me to infiltrate a Republic mission as soon as possible.  Word had reached the Sith about Bastila's Battle Meditation and it became my mission to get her captured by the Sith so she could be turned.  In the course of planning the attack I learned of you, and Bastila's interest in you.  I wasn't able to determine why she was so insistent on having you nearby, she wouldn't reveal that to anyone, no matter how much I had her trusting me, but clearly you were important to her.  So, if you were important to Bastila Shan, you were important to the Sith, and we had to find out why." Carth explained, seemingly not at all remorseful at having betrayed everything he had ever professed was important to him.

"Then why the attack on the Endar Spire?  Bastila could have been killed.  I was nearly killed getting to the escape pods.  If Trask hadn't sacrificed himself to Darth Bandon, I would have been killed.  Why the attack?" Carian questioned incredulous.

Carth chuckled at her.  "Ah Trask, I forgot about that.  I sent him to make sure you got to me and I sent Darth Bandon to ensure that the job was being done and it all went off wonderfully."  He grinned maliciously at her.

Carian tried drawing on her Force Powers again, but she was still too weak.  Whatever Carth had brewed for her, it was clearly designed to incapacitate a Jedi.  "But Trask died because of Darth Bandon, he…" she trailed off, bewildered at the laughter coming from the pilot.

"No, no, my dear naïve little Jedi.  The confrontation between Trask and Darth Bandon was merely a show for your benefit, after all, did you see the killing blow or were the doors just conveniently locked to prevent you from dying a supposedly meaningless death?"  Carian opened her mouth to protest and closed it again as she realized Carth was right.  She had never seen Trask fall, or even waited long enough to hear sounds of battle from behind the door.  She had thrown herself at it once but remembering Trask's bravery in the face of the imposing looking Dark Jedi, she had decided to honour his sacrifice and get to the escape pods, with Carth's help, she remembered bitterly.

"And I supposed you planned that I would be hurt in the crash to Taris?" she asked Carth resentfully.  "After all, you told me I was unconscious for almost two days after…" she stopped speaking, realizing what a fool she must sound like.  She had believed everything he had said, without question.  Oh, certainly at first, upon awakening, she had asked him a few questions and when she had shown a little token resistance to their working together, he had dismissed her concerns as foolish.  The irony of it was she had trusted him from the beginning; she had never seriously entertained the notion of attempting to explore Taris without the more experienced pilot's help.  

"Of course I didn't plan for you to be hurt in Taris," he answered her patiently. "It fit in rather nicely though, while you were unconscious I had time to communicate with the Sith and find out more about Taris and Bastila's situation."  Carth smirked at her, "I have to admit that I was rather surprised at how quickly you were able to find her without any hints from me.  You had us scouring the city and within days we had acquired allies that I wouldn't have found without you.  I let you do the talking and because you never dreamed that I wasn't a Republic soldier, you believed everything you told everyone and they were able to believe you.   Really it was barely even lies, just a few key details left out.  Details that I imagine you are finding rather important right now," Carth chuckled at his own cleverness at deceiving the young Jedi and her allies.

Carian shook her head, "I refuse to believe that you could be this deceitful, this cruel.  You got so angry with me when I asked you things about your family.  You were genuinely in pain, I'm sure of it.  I won't believe those were all lies.  They can't be."  She was so tired, whatever Carth had drugged her with was not going away but she couldn't believe the entire time they had spent together had been based on lies.  There must have been some real feelings.  Or had Carth died on Telos along with his wife and this stranger had taken his place?  She closed her eyes momentarily, she would not cry in front of this man, whoever he was.  

"Of course I got angry with you when you asked those things.  They were private, personal memories of a time I'd rather forget," Carth said sourly.  "Those reactions were genuine, and I thought that you weren't going to talk to me anymore after I yelled at you the first couple of times so I had to try to apologize, I needed you to talk to me.  It was important that you trust me," he told her.

"So you really did have a wife that died on Telos?" she asked softly.

"Of course I did, not every word was a lie," Carth knelt down again and reached to touch her face.  She flinched away and Carth saw her lips moving and recognized the first line of the Jedi Code.  _There is no emotion, there is peace._  He smiled to himself and stood up; she didn't look peaceful to him.  Her precious code wouldn't save her from what was in store for her.  

"Why did they attack Taris then?  You had Bastila and me, it was just a matter of time before you could have betrayed us then," Carian questioned wearily.

"Darth Malak assumed I had failed in my mission.  I hadn't been able to communicate to Karath or any other Sith while with you on Taris so I knew my time was running out to get off the planet.  Once the Sith attacked, I knew my time had run out and adjusted my plans.  Bastila had decreed you were Force Sensitive, so I would bide my time and wait.  I would also be able to give the location of the Jedi enclave to the Sith.  They had been searching for Dantooine's location for sometime."

"Oh Carth no, why would you betray them like that?" Carian breathed, heartsick and horrified.  She already knew the answer.  It had been revenge, a terrible revenge.

"The Jedi Order refused to send help when the Mandalorians were attacking.  It took you and Malak to stop them.  And as you should now remember, you took advantage of the Republic's subsequent weakness to attack.  If the Jedi had helped defeat the Mandalorians, the Republic might not have been so weak and Telos might not have been destroyed.  Why shouldn't I let that useless Order meet the same fate as Telos?" Carth demanded angrily, glowering down at her.

"Oh Carth, so once again you bring it back to me, to Revan.  That's what this has all been about isn't it?"  Carian asked softly, sadly.  She wanted to stand, to throw herself at Carth, to pound her fists into his chest and rage at him.  The drug continued to affect her and she was kept seated and unable to draw on her Force Powers.

"Oh it certainly did become about you," Carth answered calmly.  "After you and Bastila had your secret meeting with the Council, I finally managed to drag out of you that we were on a search for Star Maps.  I was concerned with your sudden secretiveness. I thought you might have sensed the true nature of my mission but you continued to be unable to read me or perhaps it never occurred to you to try to probe me more deeply," he continued.

Carian felt like a fool.  Whenever she had directed any of her thoughts at Carth, she had felt attraction coming from him and curiosity but no, it had never occurred to her to probe him more deeply.  Somehow, that had seemed like a violation of trust somehow.  Oh, what a trusting fool she was.  How easily he had manipulated her, found out about the Star Maps and her bond with Bastila just by letting her know how frustrated he was to be left out of things, and she had wanted to include him.  Could she be any more idiotic?

"So I remained by your side and acted the part of loyal Republic soldier.  I pretended to be your conscience at first but it soon became clear that you were following the light and didn't need my guidance in that area," Carth said derisively.  "I still spouted the ideals on occasion and somehow I think it endeared me to you even more.  Imagine my surprise when I realized you were attracted to me." Carth grinned roguishly at her.  She almost recognized the smile except for the mockery in it.  "Mission told me, if you can believe that.  She asked if I was ever planning to make a move or just going to sit there like a Hutt watching a swoop race,"   The comm. system chirped and Carth crossed to the pilot's seat to reply.   Carian heard something being said over the comm. channel but was too tired to make it out.  "Understood sir.  The situation hasn't changed here sir.  She's under control.  We'll wait for further contact then sir.  Hutt's Hovel out."

Carth turned back towards her, seeing Carian trying to rise again.  He snickered and sauntered over to the co-pilots chair and scooped her up in his arms, ignoring her feeble struggles and carried her back to the quarters she had seen earlier.  "We have to get these silly ideas of escape out of your head.  That drug won't be wearing off anytime soon so just relax and rest.  You'll need it," he laid her on the bed and propped a pillow behind her head.

Carian's head was swimming from the activity and movement.  She thought she might pass out when it finally all stopped so she breathed deeply and slowly, seeing colours swim and float before her eyes.

Sitting at the foot of the bed, Carth watched her intently.  Clearly Carian was still feeling the effects of the drug.  She kept looking at him like she didn't recognize him anymore, well, that might be for the best.  After all, any attachments could only serve to hurt her where she was going.

"It would seem you have been granted a short reprieve.  There has been a slight delay on the part of the ship due to rendezvous with us," Carth stood up and hit a few controls on a panel in the room.  He had patched the comm. system through to this room.  It had been a smuggler's ship after all, and even smugglers sleep sometimes.  "Don't worry though; you won't have gotten rid of what's coursing through your system by the time you're on board that ship.  So you won't be offering any resistance, to me or to the Sith," Carth grinned as her eyes snapped open and she stared at him.  Got your attention now eh beautiful? the pilot thought to himself.

"Why would you go through all this?  The Leviathan?  Killing Saul Karath.  The Star Forge's Destruction?  I don't understand," Carian asked desperately.  She had given up trying to rise and she was feeling even worse after that little excursion from the cockpit to the crew quarters.

Carth had sat down at the foot of her bed again and was rewarded with a glare from the young Jedi.  He ignored her glacial look and replied, "Thanks to Saul Karath, much was explained to me.  I began to have my suspicions on Kashyyyk and informed him of the computer's reaction to you.  Saul, naturally, didn't see the need to inform me just then of who I was with.  I think he was waiting, as I would wait later, to see who would prove the stronger and what direction you would take once you knew your true identity," Carth remarked.

"But Saul Karath tortured you, treated you as one of the enemy," she reminded Carth desperately.

"Oh I know," Carth answered, scowling.   "Apparently Karath had inklings of my ambitions and when he had learned of your affection for me, he used that to his advantage  Only you and Bastila were supposed to be truly tortured, I was only supposed to be howl if you actually didn't cooperate.  I was rather surprised you didn't cooperate but we underestimated your strength and I repaid Karath on the bridge of his ship. I had a debt to settle with Karath anyways, I knew the role he had played in the destruction of Telos, and though I would work for him, I could never forgive him.  It was only on the bridge, as he lay dying, that he told me your true identity. He told me that you were actually the Dark Lord Revan, who had helped bring about the destruction of Telos, the woman who had cost me everything in my life.  Everything I had ever valued was gone, thanks to Revan, thanks to you."  Carth had moved closer and his face was inches from her own.  Once Carian would have moved to kiss him, to kiss away his pain, now all she could do was try to back up, away from him as she felt tears slip unbidden down her cheeks.

"So if you were wondering if my reaction on the Ebon Hawk after learning you were Revan was genuine, it was," Carth said harshly.  Carian closed her eyes, trying to shut him out, but Carth continued on relentlessly. "I wanted to take you to the Sith right then and never think of you again, just let them deal with you however they saw fit.  I did have a chance however to think about your situation and realized that as a mere Jedi who only had flashes of Revan, you were still rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things.  If you were having flashes though, who was to say that you might not get all your memories back one day?  Wouldn't that be fascinating now that I had nothing left to lose and the Republic and the Jedi Order had sacrificed so much, even lost Bastila in the quest for the Star Maps.  So I decided to bide my time and see who would emerge the victor in a final confrontation between you and Malak."  Carian found it so hard to accept that this man had professed to love her on the Rakatan planet and now was willing to throw her life away utterly.

Carth gazed at her speculatively, "I always did think you were very skilled and that you might give Malak a run for his money.  When I learned you were Revan it made so much more sense.  The master was coming back to defeat her old apprentice.  I wanted you to defeat Malak and I intended to help you become strong enough to do that."  Carth finally backed off and resumed his position at the foot of the bed where he studied her.

Carian looked at him questioningly," But why would you continue to encourage me to follow the Light Side Carth?  I don't understand.  Your logic seems…confused." Carian stated dryly.

"Well I did consider encouraging you to reclaim your true identity but I suspected you wouldn't be as strong as you needed to be in order to defeat Malak.  I have seen Dark Jedi immediately after they have changed allegiances, if you will, and they seem to have difficulty drawing Force Powers from either the Dark Side or Light Side of the Force immediately after turning to the Dark Side.  So, while Malak was a worthy leader, you were just so much prettier than he was and I wanted you to be the leader, I knew you would be a better leader than Malak ever could." Carth explained.

"But you hate Revan.  You've told me that enough tonight.  Why would you want Revan in charge of anything?  Why not kill her or me or whatever?" Carian asked desperately.  If the Sith had plans to try to turn her to the Dark Side, being killed by Carth would be better than whatever the Sith had in mind.

"I hate the Republic and the Jedi more.  When you were a Jedi defeating the Mandalorians, you were brave and brilliant and you took action when the Order wouldn't lift a finger to help the Republic.  You and Malak returned later on from finding your Star Maps we presume and laid waste to the Republic because they were weakened from fighting the Mandalorians and easy to defeat.  The Republic and the Jedi make choices that destroy people's lives and call it the greater good.  You seize opportunities and aren't afraid to call them what they are, quests for power," Carth replied passionately.

"Yes, I can't deny that Revan did all that and much more.  It was Revan though and while her memories have returned it doesn't mean that her personality has come back, that all that needs doing is flip a switch and Revan the Dark Lord will return and thank you for liberating her," Carian said slowly.

"Oh yes, the old song and dance about how you're Carian now, you're not Revan," Carth scoffed.  "Well my dear, its not my job to turn you to the Dark Side, to seduce you to that power, although I can't say that idea doesn't appeal to me," Carth continued, winking at her.

Carian flinched at his look and changing the subject asked "So what happens now?  You give me to the Sith and let them do whatever they think is necessary to revive Revan in me and you'll go on your way continuing to betray the Republic and the Jedi?"

Carth shifted uneasily and said slowly, "Once I get word that they're ready, we rendezvous with the ship that I'm to dock on and then yes, the Sith will take you and…and…I don't know what happens to you then."

"I do, it won't happen right away Carth but it will happen once they realize that Revan won't be coming back.  After a lot of torture, drugs and I can't even begin to imagine what else, they'll kill me.  It's very simple.  And if they don't, I'll find a way to do it myself," Carian replied coolly.

"You could let them bring back Revan you know, it wouldn't be as horrible as you seem to think," Carth insisted.

Carian's head was spinning.  Whatever Carth had used to drug her, it was strong and she was fighting to stay conscious.  She couldn't believe that the Republic soldier who had saved her life repeatedly was now betraying her to the Sith, sentencing her to die, no matter how he might try to avoid that truth.

"Just shut up, Carth.  Just shut up and go away.  I don't know you and I don't want to know you.  Leave me alone.  I'm sure you or someone will get me when the time comes," she sighed.

Carth moved up on the bed and rolled her over on her stomach, rubbing her back as he said softly, "That drug really wiped you out didn't it?  I didn't know it was going to be quite so strong, but it's really just as well seeing as we haven't been advised to rendezvous yet."  Carian squirmed to get out from under his touch but he just rubbed more firmly, keeping her in place.  "Stop wriggling, you're not going anywhere, you're in no condition to go anywhere and this might help a little," Carth said impatiently.

"If you're trying to relax me, it's not working.  I can't relax around you anymore," Carian answered softly, sadly.  Carth's hand stilled on her back and he removed it silently. Carian reached up with one leaden hand and wiped her face, trying to erase all evidence of the tears she had shed over this traitor.

Carian rolled over, setting her head spinning again. She closed her eyes and waited for it to pass. The Sith were going to have fun getting her to go anywhere, she might just lose her lunch all over their nice, shiny uniforms.  She grinned at that thought and decided she must be insane if she could find something to smile about in this situation.

Carth was thinking similar thoughts about her sanity as he watched the smile creep over her face and tried to imagine what would make her smile.  Was she imagining his gruesome death at her hands?  But then, Carian would say that those thoughts led to the Dark Side no doubt.  She always had been a puzzle to him and that had been part of the interesting part of his mission.  He'd loved trying to determine what she would do next.

"Carth," Carian said, breaking into his musings, "why would the Sith want to get Revan in power though?  There must be a Dark Lord and whoever he or she is won't want competition.  So, why try to revive Revan?  I can understand killing Revan, but not bringing her back to power."

That was a more complicated question than she realized, Carth thought.  He looked at the angry Jedi before him and tried to phrase his next words carefully.

The chime of the comm. channel interrupted him before he could answer her however and he jumped up to respond.  The message was brief and when he turned back to Carian he could see by the trepidation in her eyes that she had heard it this time.

"Well as I'm sure you're aware by that comm. message, we're docking in moments so your reprieve has ended.  It's time."  Without another word, he scooped her up in his arms again and brought her back to the cockpit to sit in the co-pilot's seat.  She might seem weak and groggy, but he'd learned not to underestimate the powerful Jedi at his side.

Wordlessly she stared at the overwhelmingly large ship that Carth was piloting them towards.  She couldn't see anything to identify it, aside from the fact that it was huge.  Besides, she had no one to tell.  She'd walked into this trap because she had trusted someone who had pretended to be on her side, and later pretended to care about her, to love her.  Carian wondered when anyone at the Enclave at Coruscant would worry about her.  Bastila would likely tell them she had left for Telos with Carth and would return soon.  How many days would it take before someone thought to inquire?  Where would they start?  Telos?  What could Dustil say?  He probably didn't know that his father was betraying the Republic.  No one might ever know where she had disappeared to.

Carth effortlessly flew the ship into the large docking bay on the massive Sith ship.  He turned to gaze at his companion as he cut power and lowered the loading ramp.  Carian was staring unseeingly at the viewscreen ahead of her, at the squadron of Sith soldiers stationed near the ship.

Carian heard footsteps behind her and knew Carth was speaking to someone, likely the Sith officer that he was turning her over to.  She ignored them both.  She knew what would happen and she had no intention of contributing to this farce.  Carian's chair was jerked around roughly and she was yanked to her feet.  She fought the rising wave of dizziness and tried to focus her gaze on this new threat.  Carian beheld a tall, older man, somewhere in his fifties, watching her closely.  

Apparently she didn't appear to be much of a threat in her current state for he turned his back on her and started to drag her behind him.  Carian attempted to stumble behind him.  She abhorred asking either man for assistance or saying anything to indicate her dizziness.  Unfortunately, her drugged body betrayed her and she collapsed to the floor.  She heard a derisive comment from the Sith officer and moments later two Sith guards appeared and half-dragged, half-carried her off the ship and into the detention compound.  

They reached a holding cell and the guards released her and she immediately dropped to the floor.  She felt their hands moving over her to examine her for weapons and could only whimper slightly when her lightsaber was removed from her belt.  She was allowed to keep her robes and could put up no resistance as a neural restraint collar was placed around her neck.  Carian was shoved into the cell where she landed on the floor and closed her eyes, darkness and despair overwhelming her.  She closed her eyes and gave in to the drugs and the heartache and fell asleep whispering the Jedi code.


	3. Hitting Bottom

Any Characters you recognize belong to Bioware and Lucasarts, any characters you don't recognize, belong to me.  Nuff said.

Chapter 3: Hitting Bottom

Carian felt the hard floor beneath her, and thought about moving.  She was very stiff and sore.  It felt like someone had struck her repeatedly with stun batons.  Why was she on the floor?  She lay still for a moment thinking, and stiffened as the memories of the previous night came rushing back to her.  Carth, right, Carth had deceived her and she was in a Sith cell.  Was it just a dream?  The pounding in her head suggested otherwise.  She had a feeling that was the residue of whatever Carth had drugged her with.  She could feel a neural restraint collar pressing into her neck.  Stubbornly she tried to call on her Force Powers; it was as though she was cut off from the Force, she couldn't do the simplest thing using the Force.  '_Bastila got out of one of these collars, why didn't I ask her how she did it?_'   Carian thought to herself.    '_Oh, Bastila, can you hear me?  Bastila.  Bastila.  I need you.  I need all of you,_' Carian half-heartedly reached out with her bond.  She had never tried to use the bond she shared with Bastila over long distances and she didn't know if this collar would suppress even that.  She couldn't think about now.  

Carian still hadn't moved or opened her eyes, but she wanted a better look at her surroundings. Groaning slightly, Carian sat up and looked around.  She was in a small cell.   From the centre of the room, she should be able to touch all four walls easily just by stretching her arms out and leaning a bit.  Well, she hadn't expected comfort after all, and her quarters on Coruscant weren't much bigger really.  One wall wasn't really a wall, but a transparent forcefield.  Mission had told her about deactivating one when she had gotten them out of the Detention Compound on the Leviathan.  She only wished she had some of Mission's skills to slice into computers and her knack for bypassing locks.  Carian had always been more about strength.   If a locked door stopped her, she smashed it. Well, this was clearly not going to work on a forcefield.  She glared at the forcefield and finally hauled herself up off the floor and sat on the bunk in the cell and remembered.

flashback

Carian and Carth had managed to acquire Sith uniforms and gotten to the Lower City.  They'd  had a brief violent encounter with some Black Vulkars but had dispatched them easily.  They'd wandered into Jayvar's Cantina and met Mission and Zaalbar.  If she'd known that she'd later end up with a Wookie owing her a life debt, maybe she would have stayed out of the cantina.  No, she'd needed Mission, and wherever Mission was, you found Zaalbar.  Carian and Carth had chatted briefly with Mission and Zaalbar in the cantina and gotten a bit more information about the gangs in the Lower City and the terrible conditions in the Undercity.  When Carth and Carian had left the cantina to find the Hidden Bek base, she and Carth had had a short, rather frustrating discussion about her trustworthiness after exchanging a few memorable insults.  

"I'm probably wrong and this is probably nothing, I know. I learned a long time ago not to take things at face value, however. And I *hate* surprises."  Carth had said, apparently attempting to smooth things over.

"I'm telling you, Carth, I had nothing to do with the crash." Carian had said, frustrated at the pilot's continued misgivings towards her.

"I expect you're right. I've got no real reason to suspect you of anything. Still... it's better to be safe than sorry, right?" Carth had replied, seeming to her, almost sheepish for what must seem an unreasonable amount of suspicion at the time

"Are you always this suspicious?" Carian had asked him, annoyed.  She'd hoped he would apologize, say something, and admit he was being unreasonable or stupid or something, but that hadn't happened.

"Look, it has nothing to do with you personally.  I don't trust anyone and I have my reasons.

And no, I'm not going to discuss them. So can we just keep our mind on more important things?" Carth had said, clearly ready to dismiss the subject, and her.  He clearly hadn't realized that leaving her dangling like that was only going to invite more questions later on.  Well, she warned him.

"You haven't heard the last from me on this." Carian glared at the pilot as they approached the Hidden Bek's lookout.

"Alright, alright.  You must be the most damned persistent woman I've ever met.

We'll talk about it but later.  Right now I just want to get going." Carth had thought that was the end of that discussion.

end flashback

Rubbing her aching head, Carian was amazed at the gall he'd had.  Carth had been the one with a hidden agenda, misplaced loyalties, and he'd questioned her loyalties.  Well, it had been one way to deflect attention from himself.  She'd been so busy, being annoyed with the pilot for not trusting her, for not believing she was who she claimed to be, that she'd never questioned him, until it came up in the heat of an argument.

flashback

Carian and Carth had ventured into the Undercity after talking to Gadon Thek to look for Mission Vao.  Apparently she would be able to help them break into the Vulkar Base to get a swoop accelerator that Carian needed to win the swoop race that had Bastila Shan as a prize.  Carian kept glancing at Carth out of the corner of her eye.  She hadn't missed the appreciative glance that Shaleena had given him either and was not impressed with the flash of jealousy she'd felt towards the Outcast girl.  She knew she was being ridiculous but she'd wanted to tell Shaleena to just back off and stop ogling the pilot, she was the only one who got to ogle him.  Oh, yeah, she was definitely crazy.  Luckily Carian had put a stop to questioning her sanity and the murderous thoughts she had towards Shaleena when she and Carth had encountered a Sith patrol just outside the Outcast village.  Things hadn't been going well for the Sith search parties.  After receiving some warnings about the area from the well meaning Sith officer, Carian had been more than happy to leave the patrol to their searches. They had more to do after all.  It was Carth who had said something much earlier about the two of them keeping a low profile, not that she was good at that, but still, no need to take on a Sith patrol just now.  

Carian had finally stopped and glared at Carth and insisted they resume their earlier discussion.  Carth tried to dissuade her, muttering things about rahkghouls and Sith patrols, but Carian was determined to get this issue resolved.

"But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching you or being wary. I'm just not built that way. Period." Carth had declared, after telling her how skilled she was and how lucky he was to have her along for the mission.  Apparently Flyboy here hasn't figured out that he can't compliment his way out of a discussion, Carian thought to herself.

"Not built that way? That sounds like an excuse." Carian had flared at him.

"Maybe so. But I've been betrayed before by people I... well, it won't happen again, that's all." Carth had said tiredly, sadly, it had seemed.  

She had so wanted Carth to trust her, even just a bit, that she couldn't help but point out the flaw in his logic.  "Of course it won't happen again if you never trust anyone!" Carian had said, aggravated at the pilot's determination to keep his walls up.

"Look... I'm not trying to insult you. This is just the way I am, no need to take it personally." Carth had maintained calmly.

"Right. And how am I supposed to know that *you* won't betray us?" Carian had asked him, not even really meaning it, just looking to get a rise out of the dutiful, principled soldier.

"Me?" Carth had seemed so genuinely surprised by the question that she had instantly regretted asking it, but she couldn't back down.

"Why not you? Accusing other people is a good cover for a traitor." Carian had flashed at him.

"I don't remember ever saying anything about "traitor". All I mean is that if you're smart, you won't trust anyone... not me, not Bastila and especially not yourself."  Carth's answer had surprised and saddened her. 

"I wouldn't want to live like that." Carian had said softly.

"Not all of us have the luxury of a choice.  I'm conditioned this way, sorry." Carth had said matter-of-factly.

"That settles that I guess." Carian had replied, not willing to show the arrogant pilot how hurt she was by his unwillingness to trust her.  Apparently she'd never make a good Pazzak player; Carth had immediately seen her reaction.

"Why is whether I trust you or anyone so damned important?  Why...why do you even care?

We don't have time for this...so can we please just drop it. For now.  Can we pick it up later if you really must, I...want to get underway."  Carth had pleaded, effectively ending the discussion.  

Carian had let the matter drop.  If he didn't trust her, fine, she knew she wasn't about to betray the Republic, or him.  Stubborn man.

end flashback

Carian pulled absently on the neural restraint collar.  Looking back on those conversations now, she felt like a fool.  She'd asked Carth about his trustworthiness, about whether or not he might betray her and he'd warned her, he'd actually warned her and she'd dismissed it as defences put up by a sad, grief stricken man.  She would never have believed that he might actually be trying to tell her something.  The part of her that remembered being Revan had to admire him for it.  It was clever.  

'_Of course you've been conditioned not to trust anyone Carth, that is the way of the Sith.  Oh, why didn't I see it?  Because I never would have believed it, that's why.  He could have had the entire Republic Ceremonial Band march up and down and perform a "Carth Onasi is a Traitor" song and I would have thought it was ridiculous_.' Carian grudgingly admitted to herself.

"There is no Emotion, there is Peace

There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge

There is no Passion there is Serenity

There is no Chaos, There is Harmony

There is no Death, there is the Force," Carian said softly to herself.  

"I'm going to stop thinking about him and I'm going to focus on my current situation.  My situation is not going to improve by being upset about how I got here," Carian whispered to herself.  She glanced around the tiny cell and took stock.  There was a bunk, a forcefield, a very hard floor and no control panels of any kind.  '_Hmm, well this is going to be a fun place, I can tell.  Oh I know, they plan to get me to turn to the Dark Side by boring me to tears in here_,' Carian almost giggled to herself but stopped as she could almost hear a Bastila-like admonition in her mind.  '_The Dark Side is no laughing matter, Carian_.'  It was true. This was nothing to laugh about. She wished it was Bastila reaching through their bond, but she hadn't felt the connection since shortly after leaving Coruscant.  She didn't know if it was the drug Carth had given her or mere distance.    Maybe the Sith were hoping to starve her into submission.  She hadn't heard or seen anyone and there was certainly no food in her cell. She paced the small room restlessly trying to calm her growing anxiety.

Carth dressed in his Sith uniform and reviewed the report he'd entered into his datapad late the previous evening.  He drained what was left of his caffa and went to find the Dark Lord.

Darth Talas was a tiny woman, with cold blue eyes that seemed to see into Carth's very soul.  She seemed not to notice his arrival for she did not acknowledge him, but he knew that she was aware of his presence in her Command Centre.  The Dark Lord was wearing typical flowing black robes, and carried a lightsaber at her belt.  She sometimes wore a face mask.  Today she had chosen not to wear one he saw as she turned to regard him.

"You have done well, Captain Onasi." she said smiling at him.  

"Thank you.  I have a report for you Master," Carth replied, bowing low.

"Yes, yes, put it on the console over there," his master said gesturing impatiently to the side.

Carth deposited the datapad on the console and turned to leave.

"She is very strong in the Force.  She tries to draw on it even now, with a neural restraint collar blocking it from her," Talas observed quietly, stopping Carth in his tracks.

He turned to face her and found himself saying, "Bastila Shan wore a neural restraint collar on Taris and was able to free herself from it."

She laughed softly, "You don't actually think that street gangs on Taris could get an adequate collar to contain a true Jedi do you?" she asked Carth derisively.

"I've seen the accounts of what happened on Taris, how Bastila Shan escaped us, due in large part to Revan's assistance, and yours," she said dryly.  Carth started to speak but closed his mouth with a snap when he realized she was continuing.  "We even recovered the neural restraint collar used on Bastila Shan, and I can assure you, Captain Onasi, that the collar that our new guest now wears, will contain her.  She couldn't draw on the Force to do the smallest of things, for the Force is blocked to her as long as she wears that collar."

"Of course, Master.  I am glad that she will be so effectively contained," Carth replied.  '_You have no idea how glad_', he couldn't help but think to himself.

She eyed him shrewdly for a long moment and replied "I'm certain you are, I'm certain you are, Captain.  New orders will be brought to you.  For now, just take your ease on the ship.  Dismissed."   She turned away from him and gazed at the viewscreen before her.

Carth took his leave without another word and left the Command Centre.

Carian heard the hum of the forcefield stop abruptly.  She glanced up to see what new threat presented itself.  A young man, about twenty-one, had entered her cell, he glanced at her disinterestedly and deposited a small tray on the floor and left.  She watched as the forcefield was reactivated.  '_Sith food, now they want me to eat Sith food.  And after last night, too._'  Carian thought bitterly.  '_I wonder if there's an herbal drink.  It would be just like the Sith to twist the knife.  Well that takes care of my appetite now.  Who could eat that stuff?  Who knows what's mixed in there?_'  Carian thought, images of a Sith recipes book titled "101 Recipes to Turn a Jedi to the Dark Side."  Carian shuddered slightly, thinking that it may not be too far off the truth.  

She didn't bother to examine whatever had been brought to her; it would be far too easy to justify having a little to satisfy her growing hunger or to keep up her strength.  She reflected that a slow starvation would not be an appealing way to die, but it would be ever so much better than reclaiming her title as Revan, the Dark Lord of the Sith.  Carian also doubted that the Sith would let her starve herself.  When she had been Revan, towards the end of her reign as the Dark Lord, she'd put in place several procedures for dealing with Jedi that were captured in battle.  Force Sensitivity was a rare gift and Revan had always believed in taking whatever advantages she could get.  Carian remembered clearly that Revan had been adamant that Jedi prisoners were to be kept alive under any circumstances, and she would deal personally with the fool who disobeyed her.  Carian searched her mind, searched Revan's mind to be precise, wondering if Revan had something specific for prisoners who denied themselves their food.  Carian couldn't find that memory, whether because Revan had never made such a specific decree or because all she could think about now was food and the fact that she didn't have any, was anyone's guess.  Carian glared at the tray and futilely wished it away.

Carth wandered to a small mess hall that was set up on the ship.  He'd heard that they'd tried to have a cantina but fights broke out too often so it became a stark mess hall that did little to encourage the clients to stay.   Carth selected his meal automatically, not even noticing his meal and took a seat in the far corner of the room.  He had no desire to speak to anyone just now.  He ate mechanically, keeping his gaze fastened on the table before him.  He could hear snatches of conversations from the other Sith in the room; they seemed to be talking about Carian.  Despite the rumours and speculation that was flying about the room, no one could figure out what Darth Talas wanted with a former Dark Lord.  Carth smirked to himself.  He doubted if Carian had any idea how valuable she was to the Sith empire, especially in her current state.  

Carth remembered those first few days, immediately after Malak's defeat.  He'd felt…free.  Karath was dead, Malak was dead.  Anyone who knew he worked for the Sith was dead and gone.  Perhaps he could take a long hard look at his life, at the choices he'd made.  Learning the Jedi's true identity from Karath on the Leviathan had been a shock, he had been furious enough to abandon her to whatever fate awaited her, but as he'd told Carian, he'd decided to see if she could defeat Malak.  He'd thought that once Carian knew who she used to be, how much power she once wielded, she would be eager to reclaim her old identity.  When Malak had been defeated, Carian had even turned Bastila back towards the light and it had become increasingly clear to Carth that she may never fall to the Dark Side.  Over the days and weeks that followed he'd considered abandoning the whole idea and reclaiming his own identity as a loyal Republic Soldier.  Carian would never have to know that he had once been a threat to her, and perhaps they could build the life that they had both been robbed of.  Standing on the Rakatan beach, he'd told her he loved her, telling himself that his supposed love would make her stronger for the battle ahead with Malak, but he knew the truth, even if he hated to admit it to himself.  He had fallen in love with her.  Carth couldn't imagine how or why, it had just happened. 

The "Heroes of the Republic" as they jokingly called themselves, causing Carth to wince inwardly each time the nickname was spoken, had still been on their Grand Tour.  He'd wandered off to a cantina late one night, after Carian had retired early, pleading exhaustion from hours of waving and smiling and overall looking properly heroic.  He'd been approached at the cantina by a Sith agent.  The man had claimed to represent Darth Talas, and had questions about Carth's work for the Sith.  Carth had feigned ignorance, had tried to bluff his way out of the discussion.  The agent, however, knew a great deal about Carth's original assignment.  The man had found it fascinating that Bastila Shan, the Jedi Carth had been sent to capture, was now back among the Jedi, even after being successfully turned to the Dark Side by Darth Malak.  It was even more fascinating that the Jedi who had turned her back was none other than the former Sith Lord, Darth Revan, now adopting a new name and new identity, Jedi Guardian, Carian.  The most fascinating thing of all this was that both of these women had been aided in their quest by Carth Onasi, the man originally sent to capture Bastila on the Endar Spire.  One might think that Carth had abandoned the mission from the start and decided to aid the Republic.  Carth had assured the man who had stubbornly refused to divulge his name, that he had not abandoned the mission.  He was merely considering his options.  After all, there didn't seem to be anyone who would take much of an interest in two captured Jedis, he'd tried to reason.  Carth realized that he would be fooling himself if he thought he would ever be happy with Carian, pretending to have a life with her.  He knew that he would only be pretending.  Carth could never truly forgive her for being Revan, for being responsible for the deaths of so many, for the death of his wife.  He could never go back to the Republic.  Carth barely heard the offer made by the Sith agent as he agreed to it.  He would deliver Carian to Darth Talas and move on with his life, perhaps finding the peace that had eluded him for so long.  Carth shook his head, clearing his mind of his memories and eyed the meal in front of him.  It had grown cold as he lost himself in his recollections.  He shoved the half-eaten meal away and stalked out of the mess hall, racing for the solitude of his quarters.

Carian sat, considering her options.  The uneaten meal that still sat in her cell likely contained some kind of drug that would lower her mental discipline, make her more susceptible to whatever plans the Sith had for her.  When she had been Revan, it had been standard procedure to include some kind of drug in the prisoners' meals whenever she was hoping to turn a Jedi to her side.  However, she knew that most Jedi would refuse her initial meals, as she was doing now, and some kind of injection would follow.  So, if everything followed the same course as she remembered, she would likely get some kind of injection of the same drug she was trying to avoid.  Carian still couldn't bring herself to eat any of that meal.  The more she'd been thinking in her isolation, the more she'd remembered of Revan's methods, of the Sith's methods, and she had a fair idea of what was in store for her if they were planning on trying to turn her to the Dark Side.  Carian sat in silence, mentally trying to re-read every Jedi text on self-discipline and control she'd ever seen, both as Revan and Carian.  She had no idea how long she sat there, trying to find that inner tranquility that was eluding her when she needed it so badly.

Carian was jolted back to the present when two guards grasped hold of her arms while an acolyte prepared to inject her.  She remembered the drug now, one that Revan had been fond of using because of how it increased suggestibility.  Carian squirmed in the grasp of the Sith guards.  She knew it was futile, but she had made the decision that she could not make this easy for anyone.  Not the Sith, not herself.  She struggled against their grip until one finally twisted her arm up behind her back with such force she cried out.  He pushed again, just slightly, and Carian was certain he was about to break her arm.  As she stilled, she felt the hypo prick her throat.  It was over in moments and she expected the Sith guards to leave while the drug took effect.  Instead they hauled her along with them and she was filled with a new dread.  Carian tried to search Revan's memories but her own apprehension was too great.  All she could think was '_Carth, why?  Did you really hate me this much?  It would have been kinder to just have let me die in the crash on Taris._'  No, she couldn't let her emotional distress get in her way right now. She had a feeling that she was going to get her share of pain all too soon and it wouldn't be emotional.  She had been hauled through several corridors and down a lift.  They went a little further and some non-descript doors slid open to reveal what Carian knew was where she would be spending a great deal of time for the length of her stay on this damned ship.

Carian was shoved into a torture cage and a simple forcefield was activated around it.  The torture fields hadn't been activated yet; she tensed in anticipation.  The Sith that had brought her here left abruptly, leaving her alone again. 

 '_Isn't someone supposed to at least try to convince me to turn to the Dark Side or ask me something before the torture starts?  These Sith just cut corners apparently.  Go straight to the torture.  Apparently no one had read her detailed notes on torture.  Hmm.  Where had that thought come from?  Revan had made detailed notes on torture?  I don't think I want to read those or remember that too clearly.  Unfortunately the notes she had made were coming to the forefront of her mind.  There was a clear process.  She knew there was, and she knew it worked.  Revan had had wonderful success rates with the Jedi she had turned.  Well, let's just let the Sith wing it then.  If they're not following Revan's tried and true methods, so much the better for me_,' Carian's thoughts were interrupted by the entrance of a large Sith in dark robes.  

He was tall, taller than…um…Canderous.  Banish all thoughts of dark haired traitorous pilots from our heads.  Let's not think about _him _now.  The Sith's robes looked soft and clung to a muscular form.  Carian thought to herself that he could likely break her in half with his bare hands if he entertained the notion.  He was imposing and menacing.

"You'd be almost attractive if it weren't for those extremely ugly Sith tattoos, you Lobotomized Gamorrean!" Carian heard her voice speaking and couldn't believe she'd said that aloud.  Well, it was better than swearing allegiance to the Sith, that was certain.

"Well, well, Revan, once you took pride in your own tattoos.  You took pride in a great many things Sith, but the Jedi robbed you of that.  We'll help you find it again," the Sith smiled at her.  A smile that was terrifying in its lack of malice or evil.  

Carian once again found herself speaking and she wondered vaguely if Mission had somehow taken over her powers of speech, "In case you didn't get the big announcement you nerf-herder, Revan's dead!  The Jedi killed her.  Get over it already!  So just for future reference, if any of you ever have anything to say to me, you won't get my attention by using that name.  She is dead and gone, you...you…Sith!!" Carian ended her tirade in frustration.  Now when she needed more good insults, they eluded her.  '_Just wonderful_,' she thought.

Rather than striking her or immediately activating the torture fields as Carian had anticipated, the Sith laughed.  He approached her cage, deactivating the forcefield on his way.  He moved quickly, blocking her instinctive break for the door and pushed her back against the wall of her cage.  He was so tall, that he was bending slightly and his face was close to hers.  He didn't even need to use his hands to keep her there; his sheer bulk was preventing her moving an inch.  Carian squirmed slightly, keenly aware of his intense gaze on her, he moved one hand to her throat and lay his hand against it with just a fraction of pressure.  She could still breathe with ease but the threat was obvious.  The Sith moved his other hand to touch her face, "I will enjoy helping you come back to your former glory and I look forward to the day when you embrace your true self, and not some Jedi-programmed identity."  He smiled down at her, squeezing her throat until she was breathless.  Carian glared up at him and was grateful for the support of the wall of the cage behind her, keeping her from falling to her knees from lack of oxygen.  He released his hand finally and she worked her own hands up to shove against his immovable bulk.  He remained where he was for several seconds longer, just smiling down at her.  He finally backed out and had the forcefield activated before she could make a dash for the door.  She knew it would have been futile to try but Carian was determined to try to run at every opportunity.

"It will never happen, never," Carian rasped, her voice rusty from the disuse of the past several hours and the recent pressure on her throat.

"Of course, whatever you say, little Jedi" the Sith commented absently, as one would say to a young, naïve child who wouldn't understand the reasoning behind your logical arguments.  Carian could cheerfully have Force Pushed him through the nearest available airlock.  

'_Patronize me will he?  When I get out of here I'll-...' _all her rational thought vanished when the torture fields were activated.

Consain watched the infamous woman writhe in pain, being kept from falling to the floor of the cage by the field activated.  He'd been given no specific instructions on how long to keep the fields active, she was just not supposed to die or become permanently incoherent.  He'd been careful to keep it on a relatively low setting because he planned on keeping the fields active for as long as possible.  Consain could hear inarticulate cries of pain coming from the cage.  Her hands seemed to be seeking purchase on the sleek walls inside the cage, something to hold on to.  He watched for a few moments, knowing that she was in no real danger and reflected that she really was a lovely woman.  He smirked to himself and rummaged in the desk drawer for a datapad that he kept there.  Consain entered a few notes about their encounter. He noted what she had said and her reactions to him, to her sudden inability to breathe and her reactions thus far to the torture.  He also noted her insults.  She certainly was creative.  He grinned.

All that Carian was aware of was pain, she couldn't try to recite the Jedi code or draw on any of what Bastila had spoken of when she had faced Darth Malak when being tortured.  She was aware that whatever had been done on the Leviathan was like a massage compared to what was happening to her now.  She desperately wanted to beg for it all to go away, for the pain to stop but the price to pay would be worse than the torture, so she let herself scream.  Her mind latched on to one name and she screamed it out in her misery, "Bastila!!!!!  Bastila!!! Bastila!!!"

Consain jerked his head up at that name.  All the Sith knew of Bastila Shan, and how close they had come to obtaining her Battle Meditation. She'd been Malak's apprentice all too briefly, but Malak, following the way of the Sith, had allowed Bastila to sacrifice herself to Revan.  However, Revan hadn't slain the fallen Jedi but had turned her back to the light.  The whole thing left a foul taste in Consain's mouth.  Interesting that Revan would call for Bastila now but from the reports he'd seen, there was a connection between Bastila Shan and Revan.  He made a note of it in his datapad and confirmed that Revan was in no physical danger.

On Coruscant, Bastila Shan was sitting cross legged on the floor in her quarters, just finishing her meditations when she felt her name being called out in desperation.  It was such a strong impression that Bastila leapt to her feet and drew her lightsabre, glancing around, weapon at the ready.  She heard the cry again and again, and as before, it was faint, but the pain and terror in that single name was so strong she looked about again, still holding the lightsabre ready.  Realizing the foolishness of that strategy, she shut off her lightsabre and sat down again.  Dread crept over Bastila as she realized who the most likely person was to have called out to her. 

'_Carian?  Carian, what is it?_' Bastila reached out mentally. She was not terribly surprised to receive no answer except only hearing her own name being called out again and again.  '_She's in Telos you fool, you don't know how far this bond extends,_' the young Jedi chided herself.  Bastila closed her eyes and resumed her meditation, putting her friend's desperate cries to the back of her mind as best she could for the moment.  She allowed herself to open up more fully to the Force, more fully to the pleas for help coming from Carian.  She couldn't feel anything about Carian except for the original pain and terror that had come through with cry of her name.  Bastila recognized that pain and terror, she knew it all too well and she was convinced that wherever Carian was, she was being tortured, probably by the Sith.   

'_Carian!!!!  Stay strong my friend, stay strong!!!!!!!!_' Bastila used every ounce of her being to use their bond and mentally screamed that small reassurance to Carian.  The calling of her name ceased abruptly in the middle of her name and Bastila was filled with a new sense of unease.  She listened with all her being, trying to get some sense of her friend.

'Bast-!' Carian stopped.  Something had penetrated the waves of agony.  She could have sworn she'd heard Bastila call her name.  Carian tried desperately to focus on what she was hearing.  '_Stay strong?_' she thought in stupefaction.  Well, at least now she knew it was not a Sith trick.  Only Bastila would say something that idiotic.

The sudden silence from the cage caught Consain's attention.  His subject was still in agony, she was making little whimpering noises but she wasn't screaming anymore.  Hmm, had she become accustomed to this level?  That happened sometimes and was always a variable with each subject.  It became bearable to them.  He'd watch a few moments more and decide if he needed to increase the levels.

'_Bastila!_' Carian tried mentally, preferring not to call to her friend out loud.  There was no response.  The pain that Carian had been holding back was threatening to overwhelm her.  Carian searched for rational thought and gathering her strength, allowed herself the release of screaming to her pain.

"Bastila!!!! Bastila!!!  Damn the Sith!!!  I need you Bastila!!!  Please!!!" Carian screamed to her friend and prayed that what had happened wasn't a coincidence, a trick or a fluke.

Consain smiled to himself.  He'd just been thinking that he needed to adjust the level of intensity.  He could be patient.  He'd been chosen for this because though he knew of Revan, the two didn't know each other personally.  His techniques were often not by the book, Revan's book, and though her methods were undoubtedly effective, he believed that a man should enjoy his work.  He took pains to be creative, to add his own touches and methods and his success rate rivalled Revan's.  It had been decided that if Revan couldn't anticipate what was to come, then she would more easily be caught off guard and more easily influenced.  He wondered briefly if that last word she had cried out had been an entreaty to him.  He shrugged, if it was, she would cry it out again and ensure her message to him was plain.  He resumed entering some notes on his datapad.

If Bastila hadn't already been sitting down, she would have fallen from the force of the impact of that cry, and from the relief that Carian lived still.  Clearly she was being listened to and was unable to find enough calm to call to Bastila without actually crying out.  Bastila winced inwardly at the pain she could sense just through their bond; if her own experiences were any reference point Carian would find little calm in the coming days.  She gathered herself together again and prepared to communicate again with Carian.

'_I understand!!!!  You're with the Sith!!!   I'll do what I can from here!!!_' she screamed with all of her being to the distant, trapped Jedi.  She heard her name screamed out again and realized Carian would not be able to tell her anything right now.  A sudden thought did occur to Bastila, '_Can Carth help you?  Is he being held with you?  Or separately?_'

"NO!!!!!!!  Damn Sith!! No!!!  Damn evil Sith!!!" was the only coherent thought that Carian could put together when she heard Bastila's questions about Carth.  Carian privately thanked Bastila, perhaps now they would be warned even if she never saw them again.

Bastila was rocked back with the force of the shout from Carian.  She'd asked about Carth and Carian had screamed back about the Sith.  Of course Bastila still thought those same things about the Sith on a regular basis, she was just learning to temper her emotions with serenity, with peace.  She resolved to once more.  Bastila took a deep breath, closed her eyes.

 '_Is Carth-?!!!!_' Bastila asked, trying again.

"SITH!!!!!  Gamorrean pig-man!!!  SITH!!!!" Carian was gratified to get to use that insult.  She could only hope that Bastila picked up on it.  Her throat ached from her earlier inarticulate screams and this cunning method of communication with Bastila that had simply started out of her despair.

Once again Bastila was rocked back with the force of her friend's call.  All she'd done was mention Carth's name and Carian had responded forcefully, not with pain and terror as before, but pain, anger and betrayal.  "Gamorrean pig-man?  Hmm, I remember Mission told me once about a terrible fight they had on Taris.  Mission was impressed because that was one of her more creative insults for Carth," Bastila murmured to herself.  Bastila's face drained of colour as she realized the terrible implications that Carian's declaration had, if she had understood it correctly.  

"Twice you brought up Carth's name and all she could do was scream about Sith and her range of emotions changes completely.  Stop kidding yourself, Shan.  If you don't want to admit this truth, imagine how Carian must feel, alone on a Sith ship.  Oh Carth, could you really have put her there?  Could you really hate Revan that much?" 

Bastila argued with herself before finally admitting the truth.  She took several calming, cleansing deep breaths and prepared for one last communication with Carian before rounding up her friends.  

"_I think I understand about Carth!!!!!  I'll do everything I can to help you!!!!!!  Just stay strong!!!!!  Stay strong Carian!!!!!!  Call on me as often as you need!!!!!_" Bastila cried out mentally to Carian.  She waited, listening, but there was no reply, except for the occasional calling of her name.  Bastila closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall in her small quarters.  The communication had drained her.  She could only imagine what Carian must be going through.  She would talk to the others soon, once she felt a little more normal.

Consain was watching Revan intently.  She had subsided into intermittent cries for Bastila Shan. He had been very entertained when the gamorrean pig-man comment had been made.  He'd heard that Revan was original.  It was gratifying to see that it was true.  He made certain to make a note of that comment.   Consain was truly impressed with her stamina.  Most people would have passed out by now, even on this low setting, but she still fought on.  No wonder she had been a Sith Lord.  If not for Malak's cowardly attack from the safety of his ship, Consain was certain that Revan would still be the most powerful Sith Lord in the galaxy.  He checked her vitals; her heart rate was accelerated and breathing was irregular but those things were to be expected.  Consain was certain she could hold out for some time yet.  She was truly an impressive woman.  All that stamina wasted resisting torture when it could be used for so many other things.  He grinned to himself.  There would be time to explore that avenue later.

Carian was drained.  Communicating with Bastila like that while in this less than ideal situation was exhausting.  All she wanted to do was beg them to turn it off.  She was starting to think she would say or do anything just to have them turn it off.  Bastila's last message echoed in her mind, "_Just stay strong!  Stay strong Carian!_"  Carian didn't know where to find that strength but decided to call for Bastila again.  She tried to cry out, to give release to this mind numbing pain but her voice was gone.  She couldn't even call out anymore.

Consain heard the aborted attempt by his subject to cry out.  He glanced at the time; one hour had passed, right on schedule for her voice to go.  He'd expected Revan to refuse food and drink from them earlier so he'd anticipated that it wouldn't take long for her voice to give out on her.  He chuckled to himself; he imagined that right now Revan would probably give her right arm for a sip of water or the blessed oblivion of unconsciousness.  The Jedi didn't realize that she was not about to pass out from the pain any time soon.  The expert torturer had programmed the atmosphere in her cage to administer a mild stimulant anytime her vitals indicated she was going to lose consciousness.  She would not be able to retreat into a pain-free world unless or until he willed it.  He'd observed her discomfort when he'd crowded into the cage with her.  One of the reasons he'd been selected for this position was for his intimidating physical size and his ease at using his size to intimidate people. He doubted that Revan was frightened of him because of his size but she was clearly uncomfortable when they'd been in close physical contact.  Hmm, perhaps he should explore that a little further.  After all, it was about time to see if she was as strong as she thought she was.

Consain secured the door to the chamber they were in with a password and removed his more obvious weapons and secured them in his desk.  He doubted that she would be able to put up much resistance once he shut down the torture field but he'd learned early to never underestimate a subject, especially if she was a petite former Dark Lord of the Sith.

Carian sank to the floor of the cage when the torture field that had been supporting her was shut down suddenly.  She took a deep breath and tried to rise but her body wasn't ready to obey her just yet.  She would crawl out of here if she had to but that enormous man was watching her keenly from just outside her cage.  It would help if the forcefield were disabled but first she needed her body to respond.

Consain watched her struggle to rise and knelt down so he was face to face with her.  She was aware of his presence, he knew that but she wouldn't meet his eyes or look in his direction at all.  He'd hoped she would be challenging.  Never taking his eyes off her face, he reached above him and disabled the forcefield.  Predictably, when Revan realized that her legs wouldn't support her yet, she attempted to crawl for the door.

Carian saw the forcefield drop out of the corner of her eye.  '_Does he have to be right between me and the door?_' she grumbled silently to herself.  '_Of course he does, it would be too easy if he turned his back and took a nap.  That would be too easy.' _  She started to crawl resolutely for the door and paused when his arm stretched out casually, lazily, to block her path.  She glared at him in frustration.

"You're in my way.  Get the hell out of my way!!" Carian rasped, her voice useless.

Consain was careful to not let his surprise show on his face.  He'd expected her to make a token "run" for the door, and when she had begun to try to speak he'd thought at first she was resigned to her fate and was pleading for water.  He'd only been able to barely make out what she'd said.  The Jedi had nerve he'd give her that.  

"I'm sorry, it was hard to make out what you said," Consain answered blandly.  He remained where he was, still kneeling in front of her, one arm outstretched as though for balance, effectively blocking her path.  "Did you say you wanted water?" he asked her innocently.

Carian glared at him.  She knew he was perfectly aware of what she had said.  "GO AWAY!" she rasped, trying to enunciate painful word clearly to get her message across without a shadow of a doubt.

"Ohhh, you want me to move?" false understanding was on his face now.  "Well, I could move for you if you like, but the door is secured, and only I will be able to provide you with a way out" Consain offered amicably.  "Oh and if you wanted to search for weapons or some other means to take your own life, you may, but there's nothing here that will allow you to do that.  We don't carry anything like that into these chambers," he offered, lying with practiced ease.  

Carian bit her lip and let herself sink back against the wall of the cage.  She honestly couldn't remember if this Sith torturer had carried any weapons before all this had started.  They both knew that whether the door was secure or not, he would never allow her to escape.

Consain advanced towards her, seeing that she had accepted his lie.  He gripped her by both arms; she tried to pull away.  He pulled her towards him easily, watching her closely to see if she was still discomfited with his nearness.  Keeping her close to him, he rose, pulling her up with him.  He was aware she couldn't stand on her own and he bore her slight weight easily.  Consain smirked down at her, "Do you want some water?  You must be thirsty.  All that yelling is rough on your throat."

Carian ignored his offer, glaring at him.  She didn't know what game he was playing but she had no patience for it.  She tried to wrench her arms out of his grasp.  It was a futile effort but it felt good to try.  He had a slightly amused smile on his lips as he calmly looked down at her.

Consain was pleased with her efforts.  She was still very strong.  She would provide him with an actual challenge.  He mentally flexed his muscles in anticipation.  He pushed her backwards to a metal examining table and pushed her down on it.  He could feel her strength returning in her struggles.  He still didn't need to exert himself to maintain his control but she might be able to stand up sometime soon.

Deciding to be cautious, Consain decided to restrain her to the table.  It was just a small strap about her waist, giving her freedom of movement in her arms and legs but it would slow her down if she somehow found the strength to get off the table.  It would give him the freedom to move about the small room as he chose if he desired to but he was still curious to see her further reactions to his presence.  He raised the table slightly so he wouldn't strain his back bending over her for prolonged periods of time.

"Listening to you made me thirsty. I'm sure you won't mind if I have a drink seeing as you apparently aren't thirsty," reaching into an inner pocket in his cloak, he produced a clear flask filled with a clear liquid.  Slowly, dramatically, he opened the flask and took a long drink.  He put the flask down within easy reach of both of them, still open.

Carian fumed.  Did he think she was so easily bought?  So easily turned?  All it would take is some torture and a bit of water?  Well thanks to him, her Mission-mouth syndrome couldn't show itself.  Apparently there were some blessings.  If she'd actually been able to say anything useful without terrible pain in her throat, she would probably be back in the torture cage with it set to the kill setting while he went out to explore the galaxy or something similar.  Hmm, that idea wasn't all bad.

Consain looked over at her and was surprised to see a small smile playing across her lips.  He leaned in close to her, watching in amusement as she squirmed in a useless effort to avoid him.  "Imagining me in that cage, Jedi?" he asked, chuckling softly.

Carian realized that any attempts to speak were just going to hurt her and give this man more to work with.  She tried to swallow, and giving him a look that could have melted him into a puddle, shook her head.

"Hmm," Consain trailed his hand lightly, slowly, down her throat.  "That must be sore. It's probably why it's so quiet in here," he quirked an eyebrow at her.  "It's almost tempting to give you the water just to see what you have to say to me," he frowned thoughtfully down at her.

Carian moved to get her head and neck away from his hand, but she really didn't have room to move.  She slid her arm out behind him and catching hold of the open flask of water caught it up and flung it across the room.  Regrettably it didn't break, but most of the contents spilled as it soared across the room, end over end and hit the cage.

Consain tightened his grip painfully around her throat and turned, slowly, to gaze at the now empty flask of water.  He turned back and saw a triumphant smirk on her face.  "I have more water, more flasks, you know," he commented conversationally.

"And I can keep throwing them," she retorted painfully, still trying to twist out of his grip at her throat.

"Indeed," he could feel her pulse racing under his hand.  "I feel like I am at an advantage here.  I know the name you'll answer to.  I know your real name but I have been remiss.  I never gave you my name," Revan was trying to push him away, but he was immovable.  He watched in satisfaction as she closed her eyes and tried to turn her head away from his gaze.  He moved his hand up slightly so that he was cupping her jaw and leaned down so that his face was a fraction of an inch from hers.  She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face as he watched her from this unlikely vantage point.  "When you get your voice back, you can call me Consain."

Carian shuddered.  She would never call him anything other than a murderous Sith.  She couldn't look at him, wouldn't look at him.  He'd tire of this game and ease the painful pressure on her throat soon.  '_There is no Emotion, there is Peace, There is no Ignorance there is-_', she couldn't breathe.  Her eyes snapped open and she grabbed at his arm, trying to pull his hand away.

Consain had watched her retreat into what he assumed was her precious Jedi Code.  She was likely searching for peace, serenity and whatever else he'd heard Jedi muttering about in previous sessions.  He had put an end to that.  "Your precious code will not help you now, little Jedi," he growled down at her, as she gasped for breath, staring up at him after he'd eased his hold slightly on her throat.  

Carian just watched him warily.  '_Next time I should just let him choke me,'_ she thought miserably to herself.  '_Oh right, he won't kill me.  This is going to be a really long day_,' it crossed her mind that it must be really late.  This was a dedicated torturer to work such long hours.  Carian felt like she'd been there for hours upon hours and just wanted to curl up in the solitude of her cell and find some oblivion, until it all began again.

As following her train of thoughts, Consain glanced back towards the torture cage and looked back at her speculatively.  "You seem positively energetic little Jedi," Consain commented thoughtfully.  He ran his other hand carelessly down her body, feeling the way she was fighting against him.  He tightened his grip on her throat slightly, in warning.

Carian wasn't afraid of him strangling her to death, but she had found that being unable to breathe was making her panic irrationally.  She couldn't afford that.  He didn't need to know any further weaknesses.  She quieted her struggles slightly, and though he was partly turned away from her, she could see one eyebrow rise in amusement at her stubbornness.

Consain had felt how much she'd been able to move her legs.  She may not realize it, but she might be able to stand, even walk or run.  She didn't have anywhere to go but he was not inclined to allow her to find the weapons secreted away in his desk.  She was remarkably strong and resilient.  He would be able to get another session before lunch, rather than having her returned to her cell until tomorrow.

Carian tried to push his hand away, even when he was undoing the restraint at her waist.  He let his hand linger at her waist for a moment, looking down into her face.  She had a very expressive face; right now her face was telling him just what he could do with that hand and where he could shove it.

He pulled her to her feet and he released her just enough to see if she could stand on her own.  He could feel her starting to sink to the floor so he tightened his hold on her, pulling her against him.  She tried to push him away but his grip was too strong and he was too big.  He chuckled softly at her feeble attempts.  She scowled at him and he laughed harder.

They reached the cage.  He pushed her inside and released her.  Carian fell to the floor of the cage immediately.  She resolutely tried to stand, more slowly, and was able to rise to her feet.  Consain hadn't entered the cage with her this time, thankfully.  He watched her progress from just outside the cage and as she gained her footing, he activated the forcefield.

"I wouldn't want you to get any ideas about trying to run off; not when we're about to have some more fun" Consain said smiling teasingly at her.  "You endured that last setting remarkably well.  Let's see how you do on the next shall we?" he said, walking back towards the console.

Carian braced herself.  '_The next setting?  Oh Force, help me!  There is no Death, there is the-_FORCE!!!!' Carian screamed the last word as unimaginable pain coursed through her.  All she was aware of was exquisite agony and she had no idea how long it lasted.

Consain entered a few more notes into his datapad about their encounter at the table and the few comments he'd been able to get from her.  He indicated his impressions, suspicions and thoughts as well.  He watched Revan with interest for a few moments.  She had surprised him with the strength and force of will she had shown.  Of course he would have been disappointed had she been any less.

Consain returned to the console and ensured that the program was in place and set correctly.  He had set up a varying frequency in the torture field.  It would go to a high intensity, as it was now, and then lower somewhat, and when it was lowered; inaudible, subliminal recordings were being played to her.  They were recordings that would penetrate her subconscious mind and she would have no memory of the recordings when she was done today.  But the seed would be planted; soon she would be turned to the Dark Side.

Carian fell to the floor as the pain stopped abruptly.  She gasped for breath, trying to clear her mind, to find her focus.  She was hauled to her feet, but not by the one called Consain, but two Sith guards.  They led her out of the cage and past Consain, who was busily inputting something into a datapad.  He barely glanced up as she passed.  "I'll see you again, little Jedi," he called out.

Carian was dragged down a maze of corridors and hallways and up the lift from what seemed like a lifetime ago.  She actually recognized the Detention Area as they entered it and offered no resistance as they two Sith guards shoved her into the cell and left.  She heard the forcefield activate behind her but she doubted she could have moved to save her life.

She lay where she had fallen for what seemed like a long time, her eyes were closed and tried to banish the memory of what had happened to her to some dark corner of her mind.

Carian heard someone speaking to her, but was too tired to register what was being said.  She moved her head slightly and opened her eyes, recognizing the acolyte who had brought her food.  Seeing that he had her attention, he tried again.

"Back so soon Jedi?  You're in time for lunch seeing as you didn't manage to eat anything this morning.  I really did think you'd be gone longer, but then I don't know much about what goes on in the torture section," the acolyte was saying.

Carian heard only some of what he was saying but stared at the acolyte as she realized that she had been in the torture chamber only a couple of hours, not the entire day and night that she had thought.  Carian was already physically, mentally and emotionally drained.  The thought that very little time had actually passed in her captivity pushed her beyond her limits and her eyes closed and she sank into welcoming darkness.

Sorn Gundo, seeing that the Jedi had fainted, deactivated the forcefield on her cell and entered cautiously.  He was quite certain that she was unconscious but he was reluctant to make a mistake and face the wrath of the Dark Lord.  She didn't stir at his approach.  He put a covered tray of food and water on the floor just inside the cell door.  Relaxing slightly, he knelt beside her and injected her with basic sustaining nutrients and a mixture of drugs that had been carefully selected by Consain.  She winced reflexively at the sting of the hypo but didn't wake.  Reviewing the instructions from Consain, the acolyte, opened the Jedi's mouth and slipped several small chunks of ice inside.  Closing her mouth he moved her slightly to ensure that she wouldn't choke and left the cell.  He doubted she would touch the tray but it was to be left for her according to Consain's instructions.  He reactivated the forcefield and returned to his monitoring station in the Detention Area.

Carian was pulled to her feet abruptly by two Sith guards.  She looked around disoriented.  She had been dreaming and when she tried to remember the dream, it slipped from her memory.  She shook her head to clear her mind.  The guards shoved her roughly towards a tray that was just inside the door of her cell.  Unsteady, Carian fell to her knees by the tray.

"You are to be given the chance to eat and drink if you wish," one of the guards told her.

Carian looked at the food, looked longingly at the water.  Her throat was somewhat sore but not as bad as she'd expected.  She swallowed experimentally.  Keeping her back to the guards so that they couldn't see the regret in her eyes, she shook her head.

"No, I…I don't want it," Carian said quietly, her voice a bit hoarse but much better than before.

"Let's go then," the guard said impatiently and they each grabbed her arms and hauled her up.  Finding that she could walk, and wanted that movement, she allowed them to lead her out of the cell.  Carian had a very good idea of where she was heading and quailed before the thought of another session with Consain.

'_There is no Emotion, there is Peace_

_There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge_

_There is no Passion there is Serenity_

_There is no Chaos There is Harmony_

_There is no Death, there is the Force_' Carian recited to herself as the guards led her through the corridors.

'_There is no Emotion, there is Peace_

_There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge_

_There is no Passion there is Serenity_

_There is no Chaos There is Harmony_

_There is no Death, there is the Force_

_There is no Emotion, there is Peace_

_There is no Ignorance there is Knowledge_

_There is no Passion-'_ Carian's attempt to draw strength from the Jedi Code was interrupted by a smug voice.

"I told you I would see you again, little Jedi," Consain greeted her, gesturing impatiently for the guards to leave them.

"There is Serenity," Carian started to continue aloud.  She broke off with a gasp as Consain gripped her upper arms forcefully, pulling her close to him and looking down at her with a complacent smile.

"There's no Serenity here, little Jedi," Consain stated flatly.  He could hear her breathing coming in quick, sharp gasps and as he moved one hand up to her throat, he could feel her pulse racing.

"I-let-let me go, Sith," Carian sputtered angrily.  She struggled in his grasp, and even though she had regained much of her strength, she couldn't break his hold on her.

"Finding that Serenity yet, Revan?" he asked her, grinning roguishly.

"Unhand me!!" she cried out. "_Oh great, as if __Mission__ wasn't bad enough, now I'm going to start sounding like Bastila, wonderful!_" Carian thought wryly.

"Unhand me?" Consain repeated, laughing.  With one hand he caught both of hers and gripped them tightly, stopping her repeated attempts to claw at him.

Angry at being mocked and frustrated at her inability to escape from this man, Carian resorted to the only thing she could think of.

"Brainless, lice-ridden bantha!!!  Drooling Bomarr cast-off!!" she shouted angrily at the large Sith holding her firmly against him.

Consain laughed harder; he'd never encountered a Jedi like this one.  Ignoring her continued verbal assault, he pushed her easily into the cage and activated the forcefield.  

He stalked over to the console and activated the torture field program.  It was a higher setting than the previous session but continued with the varying intensities accompanied by the subliminal recordings.

'_ThereisnoChaosThereisHarmony, ThereisnoDeath,ThereistheForce' _Carian rushed to get through the final part of the Code, knowing that she had moments before she was incapable of thought.  '_Thereis-'_ she started again.  The field activated and her last thought was "_No, not again._"  

Carian's screams filled the small room.  Consain watched her struggle for a few moments then wandered to his desk to enter her creative insults on his datapad.  He reviewed the notes that he'd received from Sorn Gundo over in the Detention Area.  Apparently the Jedi had slept poorly.  She'd had dreams almost the entire afternoon and night.  From what Gundo could hear and see, the dreams had been upsetting.  She'd writhed and cried out often in her sleep.  The recordings seemed to be working then.  It was interesting that she was fighting it so much.  He outlined his impressions of her progress up to this point into his datapad.

Time had no meaning for Carian.  She never knew how long she was in the torture cage and never could tell how long she slept afterwards.  It was the same each time.  She'd be dragged to Consain's chambers and subjected to his physical and mental torture.  Half-conscious, she would be returned to her cell where she collapsed in mental, emotional and physical exhaustion.  She never felt rested after sleeping.  She thought she might be dreaming but she couldn't remember the dreams in any way.  There was always the offer of food and water, which she refused with increasing difficulty each time.  She was certain that she was not supposed to die so they wouldn't let her starve herself and she couldn't bring herself to eat the food provided by the Sith.

Consain was pleased with his progress with Revan.  She had just been brought back to her cell after a particularly difficult session.  While the sessions were difficult on Revan, he was enjoying himself immensely.  Revan was a stubborn woman and resisted them at every opportunity.  Of course, they were sabotaging her meagre efforts at resistance but she would learn that soon enough.  He finished his notes and left the torture chamber.

Consain decided to head for the mess hall.  After the sessions with Revan, he often found he was hungry.  He usually ate alone, having found that the common soldiers were uncomfortable in his presence.  He suspected that they feared him.  That was fine with him.  Let them fear him, he had no patience for the common soldiers as it was.  The mess hall was almost deserted.  He spotted a couple of soldiers and a couple of officers.

"Gamorrean pig-man, hairless Wookie…" Consain was chuckling quietly.  He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and almost knocked over one of the officers.  He was a dark haired man, one that Consain hadn't seen on this ship very often.  Not that he had much reason to come here, but he had a good idea of who was on the ship.  

The captain scowled at him in irritation, and started to brush past him.  He stopped suddenly, turning back to Consain, he spoke.   "What did you just say?" he asked.

Consain sighed inwardly.  "It wasn't directed at you Captain…," he replied evenly, recognizing the man's rank from his uniform.  He deliberately left the question in the air, eyeing the smaller man appraisingly.

"Captain Carth Onasi," Carth replied impatiently.  "Never mind that, what did you say?" he repeated.

Sighing aloud this time, Consain replied "I was just remembering something said to me recently.  My exact words, I believe, were Gamorrean pig-man and Hairless Wookie!" he replied with more patience than he felt.

"Hmm, who would be foolish enough to insult a man your size?  I'm sorry; I didn't get your name." Carth asked, trying to hide his curiosity.

"Likely because I didn't give it, Captain," Consain replied.  Seeing Carth's raised eyebrow, he continued.  "They call me Consain.  As for your first question, nothing she says or does surprises me any longer," he said, hoping to end the conversation so he could have a meal in peace.

"She?" Carth asked.  "Wait…Consain…" he frowned, trying to remember where he'd heard that name.  "Oh, right.  You're the torturer aren't you?"  Seeing the big man's impatient nod, Carth continued.  "I'll leave you to get your meal momentarily.  I have an interest in someone who was recently brought in.  I'm assuming she's in...ah...your care.  I'd like to see Revan.  I'm the one who brought her in and I'd like to see her, see how she progresses along the path to the Dark Side," Carth continued.

Consain's eyebrows shot up in surprise but he said nothing.  Consain was certain there was more to it, but he was not in a position to question or deny the Captain.  If he wished to see Revan, it was his right.  After all, if the Dark Lord would be notified of all of Revan's activities and if she had a problem with this Onasi seeing Revan, then the Captain would pay the price.  He'd received no instructions about keeping anyone specific away from her.

"Certainly Captain," he answered.  "She is being held in the Detention Area and that is where she is now.  But perhaps you'd rather wait until I have another session with her.  You can speak to her in more privacy if you like," Consain offered.  He hoped to see for himself what the connection was between Onasi and Revan.  He would bet a year's savings in credits that it was more than just captive and captor.

"Ahh, sure.  During one of your sessions would be fine," Carth agreed.

"Fine.  I'll send you information with times and where exactly my office is," Consain said briskly, starting to turn away.  He turned back towards the Captain, "One last thing," he said to the Captain, "I suggest you come at the beginning of the sessions I list for you.  She's not generally terribly talkative later on," he said with a smile.

Carth watched the big man get his meal and seat himself at a table alone.  His own meal having just been finished, Carth left the mess hall and headed for the Detention Area.  He remembered the torture on the Leviathan.  Carian could have stopped him from being tortured but she was unwilling to betray the Republic, unwilling to betray the Jedi.  "_Unlike me,_" he thought bitterly to himself.  He wondered how she could bear it without giving in to her Dark Side.  She had always been strong.  He'd admired and respected that about her, even as he was handing her over to the Sith.  

He reached the Detention Area and ignored the curious gazes of the guards and Sorn Gundo.  The acolyte approached him to ask if he could be of any assistance.  Carth waved him away.  He found her cell easily.  He stopped outside it and looked at her through the forcefield.  She still wore her Jedi robes but they were dirty and sweat stained.  She was lying on the floor of the cell in a crumpled heap, with her face turned away from him.

As he watched, she cried out with a nightmare and pushed at some unknown foe.  She called out unintelligibly a few more times and subsided into silence.  Gundo appeared beside him.  "Don't try to wake her, sir." he requested.  "If you need to question her, we can arrange…." he trailed off, seeing that the officer wasn't listening to him but watching the Jedi closely.

"Is her sleep always like this?" Carth asked, wondering if it was part of Consain's plan.  

"Yes sir, she hasn't had a good night's rest since she arrived," Gundo replied in satisfaction.

"Let me in.  I want to see her better.  I won't wake her or do anything to disturb her" Carth ordered.

"But, sir, I really shouldn't…" he began uneasily, and trailed off, reflecting that this was a Captain in the Sith fleet after all and there were no instructions barring him from seeing her.

"I captured her.  I brought her here.  I wish to see her.  Lower the forcefield," Carth insisted.

"Yes Captain," Gundo answered, walking over the side console near her cell and lowered the forcefield.  "I'll leave it down; she's not likely to wake up while you're here."

"Right," Carth agreed, not paying attention to the acolyte.  He entered the tiny cell and approached Carian.  Her breathing was ragged and harsh.  Evidently she was still in the grip of some terrible dream.  He sat down beside her, in the cramped cell and looked down into her face.  He could see tears streaking her cheeks and he started to reach out to wipe them away, as he had so many times before.  He withdrew his hand and sat watching her sleep. 

'_You never did do well with bad dreams beautiful,_' he thought to himself, remembering Dantooine.  She had come down the loading ramp of the Ebon Hawk shortly after Bastila.  Her face had been white, with dark circles under her eyes.  She had seemed dazed and unfocused, just like Bastila.  When he asked her about it, she'd replied that she'd had a rough night and cut off any further questions about it.

Now, as on Dantooine, she was unnaturally pale.  There were dark smudges under her eyes and she looked so very vulnerable, not at all like a former Dark Lord of the Sith.

He glowered down at her as thoughts of Revan reminded him of everything that had happened.  She was a Dark Lord and she bore part of the responsibility for the death of Morgana and the loss of Dustil.  Thousands had died at her command.  Now, she lay here in a cell, captive to those she once commanded because she refused to take her rightful place as Dark Lord of the Sith.  

"Carth…no…not…don't…not….Dustil," Carian's murmured words brought him back to the present.  He looked quizzically at the young woman.  Dustil was safe.  Why should she be having a nightmare of what sounded like him harming Dustil?  A buried part of him felt a flash of pride when he thought of Dustil.  One would think that Carth would have wanted him to join the Sith on Korriban, but the Carth Onasi that had loved his wife and son, and been loyal to the Republic once upon a time could only ensure that his son didn't join the Sith, didn't follow in his footsteps.  It was what Morgana would have wanted for him.  He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the direction these thoughts could inevitably take him.

He saw that Carian was crying again.  Perhaps she had dreamed some terrible fate had befallen Dustil at his hands.  He doubted that she would cry for him, not anymore.

He stood slowly, quietly.  '_I'll see you soon, gorgeous_' he told her silently and left the cell.  He motioned to Gundo to reactivate the forcefield and left the Detention Area.

Carth returned to his quarters.  His mind was filled with memories. He didn't know what he'd been thinking, going to see her.  What had he hoped to accomplish?  He heard his door chime and opening it, accepted a datapad from a guard.  Glancing at it, he saw that it contained a various times for him to see Carian in that Consain's office, as he'd called it.

Wearily, Carth stripped off his uniform and stretched out on the bed.  He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the image of her face but even as he tried to sleep, he continued to see her face.  He fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed.  

Carth could see the devastation of Telos from the air.  The ships that were part of the task force seemed to land in slow motion.  When Carth was finally off the ship, time seemed to slow down even more.  He can hear the screams of the dying as he runs to his house.  Acrid smoke fills his lungs.  His part of the city has been hardest hit.  The closer he gets to his house, the more silent it is.

His breathing is harsh and ragged.  Carth can hear it mix with the sound of his heart pounding in his chest as his he races towards home, towards the worst of the devastation.  

The dream is always the same.  He will hear her as he turns the corner.  He doesn't want to turn the corner.  He doesn't want to find her because the dream always ends the same.

His legs are carrying him around the corner and he can hear the soft sobbing.  He can hear her soft sobbing.  He knows the sobbing is his, knowing that he's too late.  It was always the same.  He was always too late.  He can never save her.

Carth frantically moves aside debris and finds her, finds Carian in the destruction of Telos, dying, gazing up at him with accusing eyes.  Her face changes and its Morgana accusing him.  He hears their voices blending, mixing, "Why did you betray me Carth?  Why have you become one of the people who killed me?"

It's Carian again and he's pleading with her not to die, not to let it all happen again.  The tears stream down her cheeks as she gazes at him silently and he watches the life fade from her body.

Carth jerked awake with a gasp.  He shook his head to clear the images from his mind but even as he lay down to try to snatch a few more hours of sleep, he could still see Carian looking sorrowfully at him.


	4. The Sins of the Father

Standard disclaimer stuff: Bioware, Lucasarts...etc. Don't sue me!

A/N Ok, This was a really difficult chapter to write so I'm really happy its over. I don't expect you'll have to wait 6 mths for another update again. I'm glad people liked it and the reviews made me keep going. Thanks.

Dustil approached the Ebon Hawk cautiously. It was late and the Jedi Spaceport on Coruscant appeared to be deserted but he wasn't ready to announce his presence to his father and his legendary friends just yet. He hadn't heard anything from the old man since the Academy on Korriban and after waiting several very dull weeks on Telos, Dustil had decided to come to Coruscant and find his father. He was still trying to figure out what to say to his father. Dustil wondered idly if that Jedi that had accompanied his father to the Academy was here on Coruscant and if she was the reason that his father had never made it to Telos. Scowling at that thought, Dustil followed his friends out of the spaceport and to a nearby cantina.

"I don't see what the big deal about Telos was anyway Onasi," complained Crev. "Why didn't we just come straight here from the Academy?" The young Twi'lek eyed the waitress that came to take their order appreciatively. Crev Groman had happily left the Sith Academy with Dustil when his friend had exposed Master Uthar and the Sith's evil ways.

"You'll have plenty of time to pester the Jedi about joining later," grinned Dustil. "I told you why I had to go to Telos. I hoped that my father would come," he glared around the crowded cantina as if expecting the subject of his frustration to walk in at any moment. "I don't know why I'm surprised that he didn't show up," the young man muttered.

Crev, Jenna, and Lon exchanged glances. They knew that Dustil's father was a touchy subject. "Well we're here now Dustil. You never said. Are you going to join the Jedi?" ventured Jenna, pushing her red hair out of eyes.

Dustil saw three pairs of eyes looking at him expectantly. "Oh I don't know," he sighed. "I remember my father being really angry that the Jedi didn't help the Republic during the Mandalorian Wars. I think the Jedi really let him down, until Revan came along and then, well, look at what she did," Dustil said, remembering.

"I was young during those wars but I remember the way he tried to hide his disappointment, his pain, from us, from Mother and me. I was old enough to know that Revan was doing terrible things. I still can't believe that the woman who came to the Academy with Father is that same woman," he shook his head.

A shrill voice pierced the racket in the cantina. "Zaalbar, I already told you I don't want to come," complained a pretty blue skinned Twi'lek to her large Wookie companion. He rumbled something back to her but over the chaos in the cantina, Dustil couldn't make out what the Wookie named Zaalbar was saying to the Twi'lek. He watched the two for several moments, ignoring his friends. Though Twi'leks weren't unusual, he was certain he'd seen this particular Twi'lek before. They wove their way through the crowded cantina, the Wookie's glare keeping away those who might want to hassle his friend. Dustil frowned and continued to stare at her trying to place her. He saw the Wookie meet his eyes and stare at him for a long moment. Dustil flushed but didn't look away from the pair.

Zaalbar leaned towards Mission; "You're being watched from one of the booths over there." He cocked his head in the direction of Dustil and his friends and Mission sneaked a peek towards the group. She looked up at Big Z in surprise. "That's Dustil! That's Carth's son. I met him on Korriban when Carian and Carth needed to get into that Uthar guy's room for proof of what the Sith were up to. We showed him a datapad that Uthar had in his quarters." She peeked towards the group again and saw that Dustil was indeed watching her closely. "I could be wrong, but I think those are other students from the Academy with him."

Mission pulled on Zaalbar's arm to steer them towards the band and away from Dustil and his friends. "I wonder what he's doing here. He told Carth that he would be on Telos," she said over the noise of the band, frowning. Zaalbar just shrugged. He hadn't met the boy on Korriban and had only heard about him from Mission and Carian. Carth had spoken little of his son to anyone except Carian.

"Do you think he really left the Academy?" he rumbled to Mission. She nodded, trying to peer through the crowd to the young man's table.

"He was pretty angry about what the Sith did to his friend Selene. I can't see him staying with them after that," Mission replied thoughtfully. "He did say he was going to talk to some friends he'd made; maybe he got them to leave the Academy as well. Come on, let's go find out what's going on," Mission sighed, giving a last parting gaze to the Pazzak tables.

Dustil was peering into the crowd, trying to see where the Twi'lek and her Wookie friend had disappeared to when he spotted the pair coming from the stage area and heading straight for him. Dustil glanced around to see if she was heading towards someone else but she was on a direct course for his booth. He shushed Crev and Lon who were making comments about how he was going to get past her Wookie protector. Jenna was just sitting, shoulders shaking with silent laughter at his discomfort.

"Dustil, what are you doing here?" Mission called out with a friendly smile as she approached. Glancing at the already crowded booth, she looked at Zaalbar who caught up two chairs in easy reach and put them down by the booth. Settling herself gracefully, she arched an eyebrow at Dustil's friends. "I remember him being a lot more talkative on Korriban," Mission quipped.

"Ah, you were on Korriban?" Dustil stammered, trying desperately to remember her name. He flushed again, feeling incredibly stupid.

"Of course I was on Korriban," she sighed dramatically and turned to Zaalbar. "I don't think he remembers me," Mission commented in an audible undertone to the Wookie. "And after everything I did for you," she sighed again and pouted.

Dustil knew she was teasing him but for some reason though she looked very familiar, her name completely eluded him. He didn't think she had been one of the students at the Academy and he'd never really wandered around in Dreshdae much.

"Don't think too hard, it looks painful," she teased him. The booth erupted in laughter; Dustil glared at her and his friends. "Do you need a reminder?" the Twi'lek asked him, her eyes sparkling.

"The only thing that comes to mind is that you were with my father and that Jedi, Carian, though I still don't know what you were doing there..." he trailed off as the scene came clearly to his mind.

-start flashback-

Carth, Mission, and Carian had approached him with a datapad. He hadn't believed that they could show him anything that would change his mind about the Sith until his father asked about Selene.

"Did you know someone named Selene?" Carth asked his son; clutching the datapad so hard he expected to hear the casing crack at any moment.

"Selene?" Dustil said frowning. "She's the one who convinced me to come to the academy with her. Why? Where did you get this?" he demanded the assembled group in his quarters, glaring at his father. Somehow his father had found a way to take this away from him, ruin this for him, just like he'd taken himself away on Telos and then, by not being there for her, by not saving her and letting her die, he'd taken away his mother and his family. Dustil scowled at Carth, not wanting to take the datapad and see what story he and his "friends" had concocted about the supposed evil of the Sith.

"Look at it. It belongs to Master Uthar, doesn't it?" his father answered calmly, reasonably. He'd expected his father to get defensive again, not remain calm like this. The young Twi'lek girl and the Jedi woman with his father seemed to possess a sorrowful knowing as they waited for him to take the datapad and read what it contained. Reluctantly Dustil took the datapad from his father and started to scan it, expecting...well...he didn't know what he'd been expecting. He reread the datapad several times to ensure he'd read it correctly.

"Yes... it's his," Dustil muttered, trying to absorb the information he saw on the datapad. "But... he told me... he, he said that she'd been lost on a mission in the valley. This... this says that they..."he trailed off, horror and disgust at the lengths the Sith would go to in order to attain their goals sickened and silenced him.

"Killed her because she was hindering your progress," Carth finished for him harshly. Dustil winced, determined not to show his father and these strangers his shame at having been deceived and the terrible price that deception had cost Selene. "Superiority at any cost, Dustil. There's your evil. Or can you live with that?" his father continued relentlessly. Dustil thought he saw the Jedi reach to put her hand on his father's arm, as though to silence him, but when their eyes met for split second, Dustil saw a resolve come over her face and she drew back from Carth and waited silently. Dustil thought he knew what she had communicated in that brief exchange of glances. This was between him and his father; no one else could resolve this for them.

They had not come to blows over the Sith but it had been a close thing for a few moments. The tension in his quarters was palpable. Dustil and Carth agreed to go their separate ways for now, but following similar goals. They would both be fighting the Sith, he from the inside, and his father in a more direct assault.

-end flashback-

Dustil shook his head to clear his mind of the memories of Korriban. It had been over three months since he had seen his father in person. He had seen him on the holonet accepting medals and smiling graciously at crowds but Dustil wanted to sit down with his father and talk for a while. He wanted to find out if what his father had claimed on Korriban was the truth or just a convenient tale told to appease him. Dustil realized with a start that the entire booth was staring at him in silence. Mission and Zaalbar looked particularly concerned as they looked at him expectantly.

Embarrassed, he took a sip of the expensive Tarisian Ale and glanced at his friends, "What?" he finally asked frustrated.

Mission cocked an eyebrow at him "Oh nothing, you were just off in some other galaxy somewhere for the longest time. Care to share?"' the Twi'lek asked, a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Dustil gave her a long look. She had been a witness to that scene between him and his father. He had a feeling that Mission knew exactly what he was thinking. "Have you seen my father? I mean, of course you've seen him. You left with him and that very strange Jedi and then you all became famous...I mean...well...have you?" Dustil became painfully aware that Mission and Zaalbar were staring at him as though he'd grown another head or declared himself the new Sith Lord. Though given their friends, the latter might not shock them as much the second head. "Look, I know I'm not making any sense," he tried again. Mission nodded vigorously and Dustil almost laughed at the oddity of the situation but for an inexplicable sense of dread he was beginning to feel.

"It's important that I talk to him. Do you know how I can reach him?" Dustil asked, leaning across the table towards Mission, hoping the urgency of his appeal would reach her. Mission and Zaalbar exchanged a look and shrugging, Mission cocked her head at the Wookie and back at Dustil.

"The last time I saw Carth he was here in the enclave headed for Carian's quarters. He'd just landed from coming to see you," Zaalbar rumbled, looking puzzled.

"He said-" Mission began, but Dustil cut her off impatiently.

"I know what he said thanks," he nodded at the Wookie and smiled at Mission to take some of the sting from his words. '_Coming to see me? What? What's that supposed to mean? Did I just miss him or is that what he's been telling his friends?' _Dustil wondered.Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpsed Crev about to speak and Dustil shot his friends a warning look urging them to keep silent. He wanted to learn more about what his father had been telling his friends about their supposed visits.

"Well Carth and Carian aren't back yet, we figured they were still with you," Mission commented thoughtfully. Her shoulders sagged in disappointment as she turned suddenly to Zaalbar, "If Carth and Carian are off on their own somewhere, then we can't go to Telos like I was thinking and surprise them. Hmph! Leave it to Carth to ruin my plans!"

"You uh were going to surprise them on Telos?" Dustil asked, intrigued.

"Obviously that's not gonna work now," Mission sighed dramatically. She rested her chin on her hands and studied Dustil. "So, what's so important that you have to talk to your dad right away and can't wait until he comes to see you again or contacts you or whatever? If you're still carrying a grudge around about him leaving you and your Mom on Telos and you finally thought of that perfect thing to say to him, and you're worried you'll forget it if you wait to long..." Mission paused dramatically, "I'll loan you a datapad and you can record all your great pot shots in there," she finished, grinning.

"Uhh, no, thanks anyway Mission," Dustil muttered, flushing. He realized everyone was staring at him. Mission and Zaalbar were waiting for him to explain why he was on Coruscant without his father and his friends were watching the exchange between him and the Twi'lek wondering if he would confess to not having seen his father. Dustil cast about his mind for something to say, something to divert Mission from her questions.

Mission reached out and took a sip of his drink, having not been able to signal a server, and, smiling at him over the edge of his glass, commented, "It must be nice, you and Carth spending all that time together, getting a chance to reconnect like that."

"Oh yeah, real nice," Dustil answered without thinking.

Mission wasn't listening to him. She had a wistful expression on her face and was plainly thinking about another time, another place. "I sometimes wish that Griff and I could reconnect like that. He'll never change though; he's always gonna be a deadbeat, a loser. He'll always care about his next scam more than he'll ever care about me," she continued softly, almost to herself. Zaalbar growled mournfully causing Dustil's friends to edge away from him just a little bit. Mission blinked a couple of times, as though clearing her mind of the memories.

Mission frowned at Dustil, as though just realizing how strange he had sounded. She smiled at him, "Hey, what's with you anyways?" She laughed suddenly, not giving him a chance to reply. "Ahh, I bet its typical Onasi stubbornness, I heard enough about it from Carian." Zaalbar finally managed to signal a server and there was a break in the conversation as the harried waitress took their orders and rushed away.

They made small talk as they waited for their orders. Dustil noticed Mission eyeing his drink again and resignedly pushed it towards her. She drained it and from the look she was giving him, Dustil knew that this reprieve was only temporary.

Their orders arrived and Zaalbar looked longingly at everyone else's order despite having ordered the largest item on the menu. No one missed the Wookie's gaze on their food and ate quickly, speaking little, the silence punctuated by comments such as "Pass the salt, please."

Zaalbar was still reaching for the scraps on the plates as they passed dishes past him to the server to clear away. Mission smacked his hands away and he glared at her, giving her a wounded look.

"Big Z, you just stuffed yourself, don't be gross!" Mission exclaimed. He grumbled in an undertone to her, looking mournful but remained silent.

Dustil's friends made their excuses and left Dustil to be interrogated further murmuring that they would be at their quarters in the enclave. Mission smirked at their departing figures as she eased into the much roomier booth with Zaalbar. Dustil had the unnerving feeling of facing a Sith interrogation squad.

Another round of drinks arrived leaving Dustil to wonder if Mission was trying to extract information from him by getting him drunk. She frowned thoughtfully at him and commented, "You know, I think I always knew Griff was a loser. He's my brother by the way. I guess that's why it hurt so much when Lena, his girlfriend, came along and told me he'd abandoned me."

Dustil nodded, unsure why Mission was getting into this with him. She'd mentioned Griff earlier but hadn't really explained who he was. "Y'know even though I told Lena what I thought of her, well..." She looked down, embarrassed. "I knew deep down that she wasn't lying, it just felt true. Have you ever had that feeling when someone told ya something you didn't want to hear?" When he opened his mouth to speak, she shook her head; clearly, Mission felt she had a captive audience and would take full advantage while it lasted.

"I was just lucky that Carian cared enough about me to help me find Griff," Mission continued. "We found him on Tatooine, a crummy desert planet while we were looking for stuff to fight the Sith. He was taken prisoner by Sand People," Mission rested her chin on her hand, looking dejected and vulnerable. "Even the Sand People didn't want him. Czerka Corp. told us it was a waste of credits to go look for him and the Sand People were happy to ditch him," the Twi'lek continued sadly. "No one wanted Griff around, because he cared more about his next big scam than he did about anyone else."

"But I'll tell you something Dustil," Mission said, perking up, "finding Griff, talking to him, finally being able to move on from the constant wondering if he was coming back, it really helped. I realized that he was never going to change; he would always put himself first. I guess I always knew that about him, even when I was a kid, but I needed to see it for myself," Mission sighed. "He's a nerf-herder and always will be, but he's family, the only family I had for a while," she smiled at Zaalbar fondly. It was obvious that the two considered each other family now. She lapsed into silence, taking a deep swallow of her drink.

Silence descended on the table for a little while, as Dustil tried to absorb what Mission had told him. They finished their drinks in silence. When Dustil looked around, he realized that most of the patrons have left the cantina. More time had passed than he realized and it was later than he thought.

"Listen, Mission, it was great seeing you again, and it was interesting meeting you Zaalbar," Dustil said, signalling the waitress for the bill. "I-uh-I'm glad you and brother worked things out and I um..." he trailed off. What did you say to an urchin Twi'lek who was still smarting about having a rotten brother? Nothing intelligent or tactful sprang to Dustil's mind and he was thankful for the interruption of the arrival of the bill. Overriding objections by Mission and Zaalbar, he paid it and rose from the table. "I gotta head off. I have to go find my friends and, uh...maybe get some shut eye," Dustil faltered, smiling at the pair.

Zaalbar and Mission watched Carth's son leave the cantina in silence. Mission stared in the direction the young man had taken and turned to Big Z, questioningly. He shrugged in answer. Mission hopped up and put a hand to her stealth field generator, reassuring herself that she still wore it. Zaalbar, watching her, shook his head in exasperation.

"Big Z, you know I have to find out what's going on with him," Mission said. "C'mon, you know he wasn't being exactly open with us," she continued, pleading with the Wookie. Zaalbar just looked at her impassively. "Zaalbar, aren't you going to say anything?" Mission demanded.

"You'd better hurry up if you're going to follow him and not get caught," was Zaalbar's soft growl. He looked up at her finally with a barely concealed Wookie grin. Mission's smile lit up the room and giving Zaalbar a quick hug she raced off before he could remind her not to hug him in the cantina, and most importantly, to be careful.

Mission hurried up the dimly lit corridors of the enclave. After hours, the lights in the main traffic areas in the enclave were low and Mission took full advantage of the near dark as she hurried to find Dustil. Catching sight of him turning a corner, she sped up; her hand rested lightly near her stealth field generator, ready to activate it. She wasn't too concerned about being spotted, the corridors were almost deserted, anyone who happened to pass her by, paid her no notice, too preoccupied with their own late night wanderings to notice a Twi'lek.

As Dustil wandered through the enclave Mission kept a close eye on him as she followed the young man. She came to an abrupt halt as he stopped at a door with a keypad. Hastily, she activated her stealth field generator and pressed her back against the wall hoping that the shadows and her stealth field generator would keep her hidden. He took a cursory glance around, his eyes seeming to move right over where she crouched, breathless, against the wall. Seeing nothing or no one of interest, he punched in the code to the keypad and entered the room shaking his head.

Mission slipped up to stand near the door and listened. She could hear Dustil talking to someone, presumably his companions, from the corridor, but then the doors on the guest quarters hadn't been designed to block out noise from someone standing and listening at the door.

"It took you long enough to get back," Jenna observed when Dustil walked in.

"Yeah well, they had a few questions and seeing as Daddy dearest and I are apparently 'reconnecting', he sneered.

The room was relatively large, with two sets of bunk beds, and he saw his gear stowed on a lower bunk, under Jenna's bunk. There was a small table and a footlocker near the door. Turning his back on his friends, he deliberately fumbled with the catch on the footlocker, trying to compose his features and push the pain he was feeling at his father's apparent rejection to a safer part of his being. Dustil knelt by the footlocker for what seemed forever, his eyes closed and taking several deep breaths. He knew he wasn't fooling them but the pretense helped somehow.

Dustil turned to face his friends. Lon was perched on the table, disdaining the chairs and bunks. Jenna was sprawled on a top bunk, lying on her stomach; her chin rested in her hands. Crev was leaning against the back wall of the room furthest away from Dustil.

Dustil seized a chair from around the table, reversed it, and straddled it. He rested his arms on the back of the chair and looked at his companions. It was Crev who finally spoke, "What I don't get is why you didn't tell them that you haven't seen your old man since Korriban? I mean, according to her, he's on Telos, maybe you just uh, missed each other, or something," he finished lamely at a cold glare from Dustil.

"That thought had occurred to me too," added Lon, causing everyone to turn and stare at him, as he was usually content to listen and absorb information in his own quiet way. He flushed under the scrutiny but continued. "It would seem that our next stop is Telos, Onasi, unless you have other ideas," he commented.

Dustil looked at Lon thoughtfully, frowning. "To answer the first question, I didn't see any reason to volunteer anything to Mission and Zaalbar, especially if it's about my father," Dustil replied evenly. "And as for the second question, no, we're not going to Telos just now," he finished.

Crev shook his head, "I'm not sure I understand where you're coming from, buddy."

"Look, isn't it obvious? It's not just about me anymore," Dustil replied exasperated. "I thought he had only let me down by not coming to find me on Telos after the Star Forge was destroyed but it sounds like he's not exactly being honest with the people he supposedly calls friends," he continued urgently.

Outside the door, Mission's eyes were wide and she was rooted to the spot directly outside their door. She silently thanked the builders of this enclave that the doors were made in such a way that she had heard every word of the exchange so far. She settled herself in for a long wait, listening to every word spoken just beyond the door.

"Yeah, but your source is a teenager, never mind that she's a Twi'lek, no offense Crev, but, I bet she can be pretty annoying. I'd probably make something up to get away from her," Jenna commented.

"I wouldn't, she's cuter than anything," Crev said without thinking. He blushed furiously and ducked the pillows and bags thrown at him amid jeering laughter.

"And she's too young for you too," laughed Lon.

"No, I'm not," said a furiously blushing Mission silently from her sentry position outside the door. "And you don't have to make up anything up to get away from me, Jeannie or Jenna or whatever your name is, just don't let the door hit you on your way out," Mission grumbled silently to herself.

The laughter was dying down but Crev remembered that shapely figure and thought, "No, she's not," unknowingly echoing the listening Twi'lek.

Dustil smiled with his friends but Jenna noticed that it didn't reach his eyes. He hadn't looked like this since Selene had gone missing. She pushed that thought away, and asked, "So, Onasi, are you basing your plans on what a teenage Twi'lek tells you?"

"Don't forget she's a teenage Twi'lek who helped save the galaxy from the Sith, from Malak," Dustil reminded them. He silenced their protests with a glance and continued.

"Look, the point is, and maybe you've all missed it, but Mission told us that Revan apparently thinks my father has been coming to see me on Telos, since well after the Star Forge was destroyed it sounded like," Dustil ran a hand through his hair and continued. "I'll be the first to admit I don't know my father anymore, it's been years since I've really seen him. That brief encounter on Korriban wasn't really enough to give me a sense of him and how he might have changed, but I guess I can't help but wonder why my father would be lying to a woman he's claiming to love."

"But we don't know for sure that he's doing that, do we?" asked Jenna uneasily.

"Well, we do know he hasn't come to see me. We know that Mission believes he has, we know that her friend Zaalbar believes it and unless both my father and this Jedi are lying to Mission and Zaalbar, then probably Revan believes it too." Dustil frowned, trying to recall the Jedi he had met at the Sith Academy. He shook his head, scowling.

"What's wrong Dustil?" asked Jenna, who had been watching him.

"Ah nothing, I'm just trying to remember her, I met her so briefly and she was trying to fit in at the Sith Academy at the time so my impressions might be skewed." His gaze dropped to the floor and he said quietly, "You're gonna think this is stupid but I had the strangest feeling that I could trust her. I was so blinded with anger towards Father that I didn't even consider if he'd come back but somehow I knew she would. I don't like to think what might have happened if she hadn't been there to...stop me," he finished in almost a whisper.

Mission had been straining to hear Dustil's comments about the academy and was literally pressed against the door for all she was worth to hear those last two words. She took a deep steadying breath and hoped something would happen soon. She couldn't stay out here all night.

Lon assumed a cross-legged position on the table top and said, "So, if I'm following your ramblings correctly, nerf-herder, we're to assume that what Revan has told Mission is true or what she believes to be true," he amended quickly seeing Dustil about to interrupt him. "It also sounds like we assume that we'll take Mission and Zaalbar's side of things seeing as your father is notably absent from the proceedings. Given that we know that Onasi Sr. hasn't made it to Telos once to see you unless his first visit occurred right after you left and you've passed each other in transit, then we're left with your original idea that your father is likely lying to his friends and quite possibly the woman he says he loves." He hopped off the tabletop and crossed to the footlocker, and sat on it. "The big question now is where do we go from here?"

Crev took up Lon's place on the table and Jenna hopped down from the top bunk and grabbed another chair, placing it against the wall beside the footlocker and grinned at Lon.

'_Apparently we all find a different place to sit,'_ Dustil thought, amused at the sudden flurry of activity and turned in his chair. "Well I don't want to tip my hand to any of Carian's or my father's companions that he hasn't been to see me," Dustil said slowly.

"What we need now is more information," he mused aloud. "There's only one person in this room who can get me that without alerting the entire enclave to his presence," he smirked at Lon.

Lon grinned at the chance to sneak around the enclave and hopped off the footlocker to get his stealth field generator. He slipped it around his waist and looked back at Dustil.

"What do you want me to look for?" he asked.

"Well, for starters, anyone that was with my father and Revan, so any member of the Ebon Hawk's crew," Dustil replied. "Do you know what they all look like?" he asked.

Lon snorted, "How can I not what with their pictures being all over the Holonet? I'm surprised you didn't recognize Mission and Zaalbar, to tell you the truth."

Dustil flushed, "Well, I wasn't really paying attention to anyone other than my Dad. But I have a nice group shot that has been circulating around. I think it's a publicity holo or something. They all look so formal and stiff," he answered rummaging around in his tunic pocket for the datapad that held the photo. Finding it, he pulled up the image, and gestured for his friends to look. Expecting them to just gather around him, he was momentarily jarred when Jenna snatched the datapad from his hand for a closer look.

"Let's see," she peered at the datapad, frowning. She grinned suddenly, "Well whatever else you might say about him, you and your Dad sure do look alike."

"Oh sure, If I'm going for the stiff and formal look, never mind ancient," Dustil retorted.

"That's for sure," Mission agreed soundlessly outside the door. "Carth sure is a geezer but Dustil's awfully cute," she thought to herself.

Crev took the datapad from a laughing Jenna and studied it. "What about finding some of the Jedi in this picture? Lon could follow one of them around," he suggested.

"Lon, that's a really good idea," Dustil said, turning to him but Lon was already nodding. Lon absently cocked an eyebrow at Jenna who took the datapad from Crev and passed it to him. He studied the picture for a long moment, committing each face to memory, even Carth's and Revan's in the unlikely event that they were in fact in the enclave.

Well?" Dustil asked, looking expectantly at Lon.

"Well what?" Lon asked, even though he already knew what Dustil was going to say. He finished adding a circlet that would make him more agile and better able to slice into any locks that might stand in his way.

"Well get going, or are you waiting for an invitation?" Dustil answered impatiently.

Mission backed away from the door into the shadows, and settled down to wait. There was no sense in following Lon. He would just come back and report everything to Dustil and to her.

Lon was anxious to go and scope out this enclave on Coruscant, just before he hit the control for the door, he turned and said to Dustil, "Why now though? Do you actually think anyone will be up at this hour?" He knew he had a much better chance of not getting caught with the enclave deserted but on the other hand, with the enclave almost deserted, there would be very few of Revan's friends around to follow.

Dustil shrugged, "I don't know but we both know it's the best time to do it, and you probably only need to find one person, one member of their crew."

Lon chuckled and then asked, "And what if it's the Twi'lek? She seems like she would be up roaming the enclave at this hour."

Dustil shook his head, "Yeah she does seem the type, so make sure you're not followed. But no, I want more information, not following Mission around, though that would be entertaining I'm sure," he said dryly, catching Crev nodding in agreement out of the corner of his eye.

Lon grinned and opened the door, slipping out like a shadow. He hadn't activated his stealth field generator yet so he appreciated the dimness of the corridor he was in. He looked around carefully, wondering if he would see that odd shimmer in the air that could sometimes betray a stealth field. The darkness would work to his advantage tonight he thought, as he looked at the long, deep shadows around him and activated his stealth field.

He made his quiet way through the enclave. It was good to get away from the shared room. The silence in the enclave was welcoming. It almost seemed as though he could feel the occupants of the enclave sleeping around him. Sometimes in the Sith Academy, he'd prowled the corridors at night, but there had never been this welcoming stillness. He'd always felt as though he was being watched. There was an air of malice in the Sith Academy and he'd never felt at ease as he felt now, even with the buzz of sneaking through the enclave.

He didn't know how long he crept around the enclave. He heard the usual sounds of a building at night. Soft sounds came from behind some doors, light shone under the occasional door indicating someone working late, or playing late.

After a while, he rounded a corner where he could dimly see a couple of benches set into a small alcove in the wall against a window. The area, normally lit in the daytime by natural light, was quite shadowed but he could make out a few shapes on the benches and soft voices speaking in urgent whispers. He stopped to find a dark corner from which to listen. Glancing around, Lon decided to edge nearer the wall and creep closer to the bench, listening all the while. He stopped suddenly as he heard a soft accented woman's voice, "-this covert meeting means you have news of Commander Onasi." Lon pressed against the wall, and crouched, praying the Jedi wouldn't notice his presence.

"Believe me young Bastila, Master Danakar and I would much prefer to be in the warmth and comfort of our own beds, than here in these secret meetings with you," grumbled an older man.

"Yes, yes I understand Master Varik, but what have you learned? What news do you have?" asked the woman named Bastila impatiently, Bastila Shan, Lon amended to himself.

"This is a delicate matter Bastila, and I fear any information we give you will send you and your companions charging off in that rather recognizable ship," remarked Master Varik in a dry whisper.

Bastila opened her mouth to interrupt, but the other Jedi Master held up his hand to stop her. "Bastila, we are aware of the bond you share with Revan, and of the effects this last while has had on you. You've been tired, irritable and not really yourself," admonished Master Danakar. He leaned towards the young Jedi and took her hand in both of his, and smiled at the young woman. Bastila tried to pull her hand back and flushed uncomfortably under the older man's scrutiny. Listening to the exchange, Lon studied Bastila n the dim light and he could see the lines of strain and tension etched on her aristocratic features.

"We know you're worried about Revan, and about Carth Onasi but the little news we have indicates that they are likely with Sith and by all appearances their ship went willingly," Master Danakar told her, his voice so soft that the unseen observer had to strain to make out his words.

"I don't believe it. There must be another answer," replied Bastila, softly, desperately.

"I will tell you what I can," Master Varik said. Lon listened intently as Master Varik described recent events in a monotonous undertone that would have put Lon to sleep were he at the Academy listening to one of his teachers.

"The Qantara sector?" hissed Bastila. "But that sector is..."she trailed off, at a loss for words.

'_Sith Territory?'_ Lon finished for her in silence, shaking his head ruefully.

"Carth's ship, or at least a ship matching its configuration from the enclave's database met a Sith Interdictor class ship and there was no resistance?! No attempt to escape?! You're trying to tell me that Carth's ship just flew into a hangar bay on an Interdictor ship?!" Bastila's voice, while still soft, was rapidly rising as she rose from her seat.

"Bastila! Remember yourself!" came a soft but sharply issued order from Master Varik, all the more effective in getting through to the young Jedi. She took several deep breaths, and sat down once more, nodding regally at the two older men.

"Not even one shot fired?" she asked, her expression bleak.

"I am so sorry, Bastila," Master Danakar said, shaking his head.

"What does the Order intend to do?" inquired Bastila.

The men shifted uncomfortably on the benches and Master Varik shook his head. "You must see how difficult this situation is. Even if we consider what you've told us, there's a good chance that this is a trap. Carth Onasi is a decorated Republic hero and we find it unlikely that he piloted that ship willingly to the Sith."

Spots of colour stained Bastila's cheekbones as she stared at the Jedi Masters uncomprehendingly. "I was told of the rarity of these types of bonds on Dantooine, Master, so forgive me if I find myself more of an expert on what I believe Revan to be feeling than you," she said glacially, her hands clutching the bench so fiercely that her knuckles seemed to be bone white.

"I know I have not been myself. Its because I have not slept well since Carian left the enclave and my days are spent fending off the physical pain of her torture and the mental and emotional pain that she endures day and night trying not to fall into the darkness she sees looming before her," Bastila raged, tears sliding down her cheeks. Master Varik patted Bastila's hand awkwardly, looking very uncomfortable.

"I have examined this from every angle and I simply do not know what to do," Bastila said, brushing away her tears with an impatient gesture. "I trusted Carth Onasi at the beginning. I trusted him when we began the Endar Spire mission. I trusted him with my life more than once. When I hear Carian call him a traitor..."she shrugged. "I don't know what to feel, or who to believe," she confessed tremulously.

Lon didn't know what to think either. He'd listened to and absorbed all the details of this incredible story but he wasn't sure how to tell Dustil that his father was either in Sith custody or was a Sith traitor.

"The Republic Operative who has relayed this information at risk to themselves is in a position to take action if need be," stated Master Varik quietly.

"Take action? What do you mean?" Bastila asked, frowning.

"The Republic feels that perhaps the Jedi Order made a mistake in saving Revan, and now would be the time to rectify that mistake before she becomes too powerful again and if she truly does need rescuing then it can be attempted," explained Master Varik.

"The Republic would kill her?" Bastila breathed, horrified. Master Varik nodded "You cannot mean that!" she cried. The two Jedi Masters winced at her cry and glanced around to see if anyone had heard her cry. Master Danakar seemed to look directly into Lon's eyes but turned away again, satisfied that no one had heard the young Jedi's outburst.

"Bastila, Bastila, calm yourself child," Master Danakar said soothingly.

"Carian's come so far. She's not the same woman that she used to be," Bastila pleaded. "You can't just strike her down! I thought that the Jedi don't execute their prisoners," Bastila declared angrily.

The three people sitting on the benches fell silent suddenly as a figure approached them. Lon tensed to leave for anyone who could best two Jedi Masters and a Jedi Padawan would be beyond his ability. The cloaked figure approached Master Varik and gave him a datapad, and silently turned and left.

"Give me a moment, this is heavily encrypted," Master Varik muttered, scowling at the datapad. He tapped in several sequences, frowned some more, pulled out a tiny light source from inside his robes and studied the message. Bastila and the Jedi Master watched him intently and Lon was eminently grateful that he hadn't slipped off while Bastila was pleading for Carian's life. That datapad could give some answers for all of them.

"Hmm, see for yourself," Master Varik said, shaking his head and handed the datapad to Master Danakar who studied it with a similar amount of frowning and scowling while Bastila glared at the two Masters impatiently.

"Yes, yes, I see," muttered Master Danakar, his shoulders slumping.

"This is the latest information from our operative and it would seem that Carian is indeed being held on the Sith ship against her will and Commander Onasi walks among the Sith as an officer," explained Master Danakar to Bastila.

Bastila was visibly relieved. "Well, then that's better," she said, almost smiling.

Lon was sure he looked as confused as the two Jedi Masters.

"What do you mean? What's better?" asked Master Danakar warily.

"Well, now your operative will know not to kill Carian and perhaps they can even help her escape the Sith! Surely now that you know the situation you can issue new orders or the Republic can issue new orders to their agent," said Bastila happily.

"Bastila, our communication with this operative is strictly one way. For now, I imagine the orders will stand regarding Revan and any information regarding Carth Onasi will be under tight scrutiny before it is accepted as fact," said Master Varik with a sigh.

"Revan fell with no help from torture or Sith mind affecting drugs before. I realize that she has served the light with devotion for some months but now that she's under those influences, she may not be able to withstand the pressure," said the old Jedi Master. "She may fall to the dark side," continued Master Varik.

"No! She will not fall!" Bastila exclaimed angrily. They glanced around, remembering the need for quiet but no one appeared to have been disturbed, but she lowered her voice nonetheless. "Revan...Carian, has always been stronger than I," she said quietly.

"When I was part of the strike force sent to capture Revan, we would not have succeeded had Malak not fired on her ship. Even before she remembered who she was, she pointed that out to me." Bastila ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "She is stronger than you know, and I owe her a great deal. I must save her," Bastila said rising and turning to leave.

"Bastila! Wait!! Please!" called Master Danakar as loudly as he dared. She halted but didn't turn to face either of the men. "Before you go rushing off, you should know that our source let us know that the last information they had of Revan was that she was suffering terribly. She may die before you have a chance to risk yourself needlessly."

Bastila nodded but Master Varik spoke before she could leave.

"Bastila, wait a day or two. Give yourself time to calm these dangerous emotions that are boiling about inside you," pleaded the old Jedi Master to Bastila's silent back.

She nodded once, briskly and stormed off down the corridor, past Lon, who was pressed against the wall still and desperate to return to Dustil and tell him what he had learned but dreading how he would tell him that his father might be declared a traitor by the Republic.

"Do you think she will listen to us?" Varik asked Danakar.

Rising from his seat on the bench, Danakar sighed, "I doubt it. She is strong willed. It is what she admired about Revan and what can easily draw her back to the dark side."

"We will have to watch the Ebon Hawk for the next day or two. I think after that it may be all a moot point," Varik commented.

"Oh?" inquired Danakar.

"Bastila will either convince her friends that they have to go and save Revan and they will get by any watch or security we set on the Ebon Hawk to do it," explained Varik. "Or, Revan will die in Sith custody or worse, fall to the dark side, and May the Force help us all if that happens," he sighed, shaking his head and rising painstakingly from the hard seat on the bench.

Lon watched them leave and waited for a few minutes to be certain that no one was coming back to check the area. Satisfied he had an all clear, he made his way back uneventfully to the room he shared with Dustil and his friends just as the first faint light of dawn started to touch the sky.

Mission was dozing, trying to keep one sleepy eye on Dustil's door, but her head kept nodding and her eyes kept closing. She jerked awake for what seemed like the millionth time and berated herself for not following Dustil's buddy. "Is that guy ever gonna come back?" Mission sighed to herself. "What'd he do? Get lost or something? Or maybe he found something better to do than sneak around the stupid enclave all night," she complained in silence.

Mission was so involved in creating excuses for Lon that she almost missed the soft sigh that came from somewhere near Dustil's door. She stilled and stared around the corridor. She could see a faint shimmer in the dim light near the door that was a telltale sign of a stealth field to the practiced eye.

Lon ran a hand through his blond hair, pulling it free from the small tie that held back his hair in a small tail. He scowled at the door, thinking of what he had to tell his friends once he walked through that door. "Ah, Force, how am I going to tell Onasi that his old man's a suspected traitor to the Republic and the Jedi?" he asked the empty corridor. He punched the wall in frustration several times and finally pushed open the door to the room he shared with Dustil and his friends.

Mission's mouth hung open. Shocked, she hurried to the closed door to listen to Lon make his report to Dustil. "He's an idiot! Carth is a hero! Who's gonna think he's a traitor?" Mission said to herself, crouching near the door.

Lon reached into the footlocker near the door, pulled out their stash of Correllian Brandy, and took a deep swallow. The others watched him in silence. "That bad, was it?" asked Jenna dryly. He cast her level gaze and nodded in silence. He left the brandy on the table thinking to himself that Dustil might need it by the time he was done with his tale.

"In a word, yes," Lon sighed. He looked in turn at each of his friends, all watching him expectantly. He didn't know where to begin. He sighed again and shook his head.

Jenna, sitting up on the top bunk, asked, "Well, did you see anything out there?"

"Yeah, I saw something," Lon said in his quiet way.

Jenna tossed her pillow at him and everyone started laughing except Lon, who threw the pillow back at her with a scowl. Jenna caught the missile easily and tucked it under her as she settled back on the bunk. "So, are you going to sit there like a Hutt or tell us what you saw?" she asked Lon as she made herself comfortable.

"Yeah, fine. I saw Bastila Shan out talking to a couple of Jedi Masters about Revan and your dad," Lon said in a rush, looking at Dustil. Now that he was starting his story, he wanted to get it out as fast as possible.

"Do they know where he is?" Dustil asked, getting to his feet. Lon waved him back down and he sat reluctantly. If the Jedi knew where his father was, he wanted to leave now, he could sleep on the ship.

The corner of Lon's mouth twitched in something that might be mistaken for a smile and he shook his head ruefully. "Yeah, Onasi, they know where he is," Lon replied. He went on to relate to his friends all that he had overheard between Bastila Shan and the Jedi Masters.

Some time later, after several interruptions, and several draws on the Correllian Brandy by everyone in the room, they were still absorbing what Lon had told them. Jenna had clambered down from the bunk bed and sat at one of the chairs around the small table, her gaze fixed on the brandy flask and unusually quiet. Crev sat on a lower bunk, his head tails twitching in distress and every so often, he opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again. Lon sat in a chair propped against the wall, his feet on the table, and his adventures for the evening and the telling of them having drained him. None of them could match Dustil's frantic pacing around the small room. He had interrupted Lon constantly as he tried to tell his story and Lon had finally told him to shut up and let him talk.

Mission still crouched outside their door. She shook her head in silent denial. She couldn't believe that Carth, her fiend, could bring Carian to the Sith. "Ohh, and Carian told me he was paranoid about being betrayed by her!" she said to herself. "I can't even think of things bad enough to say right now," the blue-skinned Twi'lek murmured

Crev was the first to break the uneasy silence. "So now what?" he asked, glancing around at his friends. Lon shrugged and shook his head. Jenna just shrugged one slim shoulder and said nothing. Dustil stopped pacing around the room and perched on the table, drumming his fingers on it restlessly.

"What do you mean, now what?" he demanded. "I have to go find my Dad," Dustil stated flatly. "I don't understand any of it but I have to find him. I have to talk to him," the young man struggled to keep his voice low.

"So, you're just going to fly into the Qantara Sector, a sector we know is Sith controlled, alone?" Jenna inquired, with a delicate arch of an eyebrow. She tossed her long red hair over her shoulder and grinned at Dustil, the challenge evident in her gaze.

He flushed and looked to Lon for support, but Lon was studying the brandy flask intently.

Mission huddled at the door as Dustil explained about Sith Academy students that had been reluctant to leave the Academy certain the Jedi would never accept them but willing to help Dustil if the need ever arose. He knew of one who had received an offer from an Interdictor class ship in the Qantara Sector. In all likelihood, his father was aboard the same ship. Mission shook her head as she heard Dustil insist that he would go alone.

'This...this is something I feel I need to do. It's not just about my father, but that Jedi too," Dustil shrugged. "I never thought I would go out of my way for a woman who used to be the Sith Lord Revan, but after you guys left Mission said some things about her that make me...wonder," the young man shrugged again and turned away from his friends, trying to hide the flush creeping up his face.

A pillow sailed through the air and smacked Dustil in the back of the head. He turned and saw Jenna grinning guiltily at him. "I would suggest you don't go anywhere until we've all had a bit of sleep," she observed, holding out a hand for the pillow. He nodded and tossed her the pillow and stretched out on the lower bunk, not bothering with his clothes.

"Besides," he began, "I don't want to leave until nightfall. The less people who see me leave the better, "he yawned and rolled over onto his side closing his eyes.

"See us leave you mean," Lon corrected as he stumbled to his own bunk, hauling himself up to the top bunk.

"Yeah Onasi, you're not dumping us here. We're coming with you," said Jenna as she peeled off the jacket and shirt she wore and found a looser tunic to wear and slipped that on, peeling off the dark trousers she wore. She felt the guys watching her appreciatively as she climbed up into the top bunk, giving a display of shapely long legs. She curled up sleepily and leaned her head down to see Dustil squirming, removing his shirt. She whistled admiringly and settled back on the bed to close her eyes.

Crev watched Jenna for a few moments, but continued to think of Mission as he tossed his own clothes on the floor, drawing a rebuking glance from Jenna. Collapsing on the lower bunk, "Just for my two credits, don't think I'm staying here either. I guess the Qantara Sector it is," he said, the words almost swallowed by a yawn.

In his own bunk, Dustil should have been asleep, but he heard his friends offer in their casual way to accompany him to the Qantara Sector. He closed his eyes and smiled.

In moments, he was asleep, happier than he had been in years.

Mission stretched outside Dustil's room and glancing around, decided to risk sneaking back to the Ebon Hawk. She still had her stealth field generator on and the enclave was just rising for the day so she passed very few people in the corridors. When she boarded the familiar ship, she deactivated the stealth field generator and started to head to her bed. She would sleep for an hour or two, and then tell everyone what she had heard. As she walked down the narrow corridor, a hand shot out and grabbed her arm. Startled, she nearly screamed but swallowed the cry when she saw Canderous glaring down at her.

Wordlessly, he propelled her towards the centre of the ship and she saw Zaalbar pacing around the room.

"Does this look like the Twi'lek you told me about?" Canderous asked dryly, releasing her. Zaalbar swept her up in his huge furry arms and hugged her tightly. After a long moment, he released her and she spat out the fur she had just swallowed. Even T3's bleeps sounded worried and reproachful.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. But I've been up all night and I do have to talk to you but not right now," Mission backed up. She was going to get some sleep and then explain this whole mess to them. She kept backing up and backed right into Juhani.

"Oh there you are, Mission," the Cathar Jedi commented. "Zaalbar was very...." she trailed off and studied Mission curiously. "Mission? What is it? Something is troubling you," Juhani asked. "I sense great distress and...a feeling of-"

"Stop it!" Mission cried out. "I'm sorry Juhani, but don't do that. Don't broadcast how I feel," Mission pleaded, trying to move past the Jedi. She could see Juhani's concern for her but she chose to ignore it for now. Mission paused at the doorway, "Wake me up in three hours, please," she requested, looking into Canderous' eyes. The Mandalorian nodded slightly and she turned and hurried down the corridor to her own bunk. She threw herself on the narrow bed and cried herself to sleep; emotion and exhaustion had finally caught up with the young Twi'lek.

Zaalbar kept a silent vigil near the communications station, casting worried glances towards Mission's quarters on the Ebon Hawk and growling softly on occasion. HK-47 had powered down or likely the homicidal droid would have offered to kill whichever meatbag was disturbing the Wookie. Canderous cast a glance towards Zaalbar and Juhani and headed for the solace of the swoop bay. Juhani glared after Canderous' retreating back, and casting a disdainful glance around the room swept out of the room to meditate.

Juhani slipped into Mission's quarters and reluctantly shook the sleeping Twi'lek awake. Canderous had been striding towards Mission's quarters but Juhani had intercepted him and gone to wake the Twi'lek. She blinked several times in confusion and shook her head, trying to clear it as she sat up on the bunk. Juhani sat down beside her and with uncharacteristic tenderness, took Mission's hand. "What is it Mission?" the Cathar asked, studying the younger woman. "I felt your distress earlier and know you would normally talk to Carian-" she broke off when she saw Mission wince at the mention of the other Jedi's name.

"Juhani, let me just jump in the 'fresher and I'll come out and talk to everyone," Mission replied, and Juhani noticed that the usual sparkle was missing from the Twi'lek's manner. Juhani nodded and left the room without another word. As she walked down the corridor, she heard the sound of the 'fresher and reached out with the Force to see who was on the ship.

She headed for the exit and spotting Canderous, she spoke to him," Mission will be out soon. Do not let her begin her tale until I return. I have to go to the enclave to get the others," she instructed sternly. She exited the ship before Canderous had a chance to reply.

Juhani returned a few minutes later with Jolee and Bastila in tow. No one had seen Bastila for some time and Mission's soft apology to Zaalbar was silenced as everyone took in Bastila's drawn and haggard appearance. She leaned against a wall and levelled a look around the room daring them to comment.

Canderous would normally have commented on Bastila's appearance but he was anxious to hear what Mission had been up to the previous night and why she had been so cryptic when she returned to the Hawk. He leaned against the wall as well, but unlike Bastila who gave the appearance of needing the support, the Mandalorian seemed to be holding up the wall.

Mission waited as everyone found a place to sit or stand in the communications room. Someone had even remembered to go power on HK-47 and T3 so that they could listen to Mission's story and she need not repeat herself.

Sitting on a low bench against a wall because she still lacked the energy to stand, Mission took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Big Z and I ran into Dustil and some of his friends at the cantina last night when I went to go play Pazzak," she began. "He's here looking for Carth and we talked to Dustil for a while last night after his friends left and I decided to follow him," Mission continued.

Zaalbar had lowered himself on the small bench beside her, lending her his support as she continued to speak in a low voice, studying her hands.

"I listened to Dustil and his friends talk last night, and Carth hasn't been to Telos like he's told us, or like he's told Carian," and her gaze went to Bastila's then and Bastila quickly dropped her eyes.

"Listened at a few doors last night, kiddo?" asked Jolee, teasingly, trying to coax a smile from the sober Mission. She nodded but did not smile.

"I wasn't the only one with that idea. One of Dustil's friends went for a walk, _late last night_," Mission's voice rose slightly on the last few words for emphasis, "and I almost couldn't believe what he had to say," she continued, swiping a hand across her face so the tears wouldn't fall.

"Carth and Carian aren't on Telos; they're on a Sith ship in the Qantara Sector," Mission said. She watched Bastila as she spoke and saw the blood drain from the older woman's face. '_So it is true then,' _Mission thought to herself

"Statement: My Master has returned. I must return to her so she will activate the assassination protocols and I can destroy many meatbags for her!" HK exclaimed.

"I told Revan that I'd follow her no matter what path she takes," Canderous stated. "I'll join her at the Qantara Sector and fight alongside the new Dark Lord," he proclaimed.

"I cannot believe that Carian would fall to the Dark Side after all this time, after all that she has done," Juhani said sadly. "Must we not-" she was interrupted by a sharp cry from Mission.

"STOP! Everyone stop talking right now! Just shut up! You don't know anything!" Mission cried, jumping to her feet. "Tell them Bastila!" she lashed out at the young Jedi, whose head had jerked up at the sound of her name and was gripping the wall she leaned against as though the Hawk would crumble around her.

"What shall I say Mission?" Bastila asked her quietly. Mission seemed ready to leap across the room and throttle the young woman but Zaalbar kept a restraining hand on her shoulder, holding her in place. Facing the Twi'lek's mounting anger, Bastila sighed heavily and found her own seat near the door. _'It's almost like she's securing an exit for herself,' _Canderous thought.

"Fine, I'll tell them that Carth Onasi is the one who brought their ship to the Sith. It was piloted on to a larger ship with no shots fired and Carth now wears a Sith Officer's uniform and Carian is in the detention unit where they are exhausting every effort to turn her back to the Dark Side," Bastila said in a rush. "Oh, and let's not forget the Republic Operative who was sent to kill her because it was thought that she went back willingly," Bastila concluded. There was a stunned silence for several long moments, punctuated by occasional sniffling from Mission.

Canderous advanced on Bastila and jerking her to her feet by grabbing her upper arms, he demanded, "How long have you known about this Bastila?" The words were little more than a growl.

"Let me go!" Bastila yelled angrily, shoving out at him with the Force. He felt the waves of the Force wash over him and braced himself. He bared his teeth at her in a feral smirk.

"You're not half the Jedi she is!" Canderous mocked releasing her with a light shove to the wall. "How long have you known?" he repeated, spacing each word slowly as though he were speaking to a very stupid child or someone whose auditory senses were damaged or impaired.

"A while," she admitted, straightening to regain some of her dignity. "Since not long after she was gone, but I did not know for certain," Bastila said pleadingly.

"Why didn't you come to us?" Canderous asked, a little more calmly. "What were you hoping to accomplish by hiding this from us?" he demanded.

"My motives are none of your concern," she flared at the Mandalorian.

"If Carian's been put in danger by that Republic bastard, it makes it my business," he roared. "Your delay could have put her in danger...or don't you care about that?" he demanded.

"Of course I care!" Bastila yelled back. "I just never expected Carth to do this, if anyone would have betrayed her, then..." she trailed off, unwilling or unable to continue.

"Say it!" Canderous challenged, advancing on her again. "You thought I'd be the one betraying her?" he asked, his expression unreadable. "Isn't that right Princess?" Canderous pressed. He braced his arms on either side of her head and trapped her against the wall. He stared down into her face and the young Jedi glared back at him. She shoved against his chest, her strength ineffectual against the Mandalorian's power.

"Don't call me that!" she hissed and pushed against him once more.

"Shut up, both of you!" Mission's voice cut through the heat of their anger.

"We don't have time for any of this!" she yelled, her head tails quivering with her pique. "Carth's son and his friends are just going to fly to some Sith controlled sector without a clue of what they're doing and get themselves killed!" she raged. "I thought that was our job!" Mission continued, drawing a light chuckle from Jolee and easing some of the tension from Canderous. He had stepped away from Bastila and stalked across the communications centre to listen to Mission's tirade.

"I'm really mad at Carth right now, but I don't think we should let Dustil go and get himself killed," Mission said, trying to calm down.

"So you suggest that we fly into the Qantara sector in one of the most recognized ships in the galaxy right now and try to get them out?" Jolee asked her in all seriousness.

"Yeah, I guess that's exactly what I'm suggesting," replied Mission with a sigh. "I know that we can't leave her there, and we can't let Dustil try to do it. He'd never make it and..."she trailed off and shrugged. "I think it would be important to Carian that Dustil is safe, no matter what Carth has done," the young Twi'lek said in a soft voice.

Canderous grinned, "So you want us to go take on some Dark Jedi and Sith?" he asked Mission. She nodded, looking around the room. "Well what are we waiting for?" asked Canderous, heading for the cockpit to program the coordinates for the jump to hyperspace.

"We better get cleared for take off," Mission said happily. "I'll just check to see the spaceport schedule to see how soon we can get out of here," she said as she moved the computer. She punched a few buttons and frowned at the display. "That's weird," she muttered, biting her lower lip.

"What is it?" said Bastila, moving to her side and studying the display over her shoulder.

"It says we don't have clearance to leave, we can't take off for 24 standard hours," Mission read aloud.

"Bastila heaved a sigh, "Wonderful, delay tactics." she said. "I should have expected as much. Mission, can't you appropriate the clearance for us?" she asked.

Mission cocked an eyebrow at her, "I'm trying, but Spaceport Authority System is pretty hard to access." She shook her head, "No, I don't think I'm going to get in." Juhani slipped out of the room and went to tell Canderous that there would be a delay with the Spaceport Authority.

"Bastila, can't you fix it with the Jedi Order?" Mission asked.

"No, they feel I'm too emotional too leave right now," Bastila replied dryly, eliciting a snort from Jolee. Bastila turned her gaze upon the older Jedi, and smiled, "I think I know just who may be able to reason with them.

"Forget it kiddo, I'm not going to talk to those old cranks," Jolee barked. Bastila merely smiled at him. He sighed heavily and glaring at the younger women, turned and left the Ebon Hawk.


End file.
